Prisoner #786

Maaey Ni Mein Kinnu Akhaan

2012-01-05T23:00:00.000-05:00

Written by Shah Hussain (d. 1599 CE)
Performed by Hamid Ali Bela

Toshinobu Kubota - La La La Love Song (arranged)

2011-12-14T19:13:00.000-05:00

When Time Is Done With Us

2011-12-12T18:27:00.002-05:00

"When Time is Done withUs"

By Ruhudeen Ali

12/12/11

The peculiar thing about thepassage of time is that when we're young we focus on getting through the yearso much so that our days pass by unnoticed. When we're older we focus ongetting through the day so much so that the years pass by unnoticed. What youfocus on stays in sight, what remains in the periphery slips by unannounced.What you wish to speed up passes ever slower and what you wish to slow downpasses yet faster.

Whileburning aflame

thefirewood sees not the pyre wane

Butwhen the fire is gone

And thesmoke remains alone

Whatcare do ashes have in which way they are blown?

Whenthe fire is gone

Thedays and nights will moan

Andeverything and nothing goes wrong

Swayingto and fro, either way I mourn.

Whentime is done with us

Werealize over what we fussed

But allthat was, was enough

Whenlooking back, why'd we ever scoff and lack trust

Whenall that ever was, was but a moment with love?

Beautiful Dua

2011-12-12T17:14:00.001-05:00

"O God, forgive me my sins of which you are more aware than me. And if I commit these sins again, even then forgive me. Whatever promises I had made with myself to follow Your commands have not been fulfilled. I seek Your forbearance if I have sought Your proximity with my tongue, but my heart did not keep pace with my tongue, overlook my lapse. O God, forgive me for my futile talk, vain desires and lapses of the tongue." (Ameen)
- Dua of Hz. 'Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra)

"All That Is Gold Does Not Glitter"

2011-11-29T14:12:00.001-05:00

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

-J.R.R Tolkien

Bobby Caldwell - What You Won't Do For Love

2011-11-23T06:03:00.001-05:00

Eid-al-Adha - Meat or Sacrifice?

2011-11-17T16:26:00.001-05:00

Food for thought. Unfortunately, the more humans that live on Earth, the more extinctions of predatory and other species will result from our activities, which means all-the-more "management" (i.e- slaughtering of other animals by humans) to balance and regulate the ecosystem. Besides, as the author points out, meat-consumption in a majority of the Muslim and developing world is well below that of the U.S, and therefore wouldn't necessarily qualify as extreme consumption like we have here in the States. Still, I find her proposition interesting and agree with what is said regarding the incompatibility of Islamic values with intensive animal-farming methods. Now pass me that corn-on-the-cob will ya?

http://farahakbar.blogspot.com/2011/08/eid-sacrifice-full-article.html

Child Labor

2011-11-13T15:59:00.001-05:00

The more our lives feel like fantasy the more someone else's life becomes a nightmare supporting our dream life. We should remember that there is always a cost to luxury, even if we're not the ones paying for it, someone else is. Multinational corporations sell us heavenly comforts at the expense of hellish labor for its workers. Behind all the wonderful products we take for granted there are legions of nameless laborers who slave over it; their entire family and in some cases the entire community itself is engrossed in making that one product. Luxury and comfort aren't free. I wish there was an easy solution to tackle this problem. I wish the poor and helpless children had some other means to make a living, but I wonder if others who established these structures and systems of abuse, who profit off of them everyday, share in the guilt that I have. Whether we are aware of where our purchases go, what exactly our money supports, doesn't change the fact that we as a society remain complacent in the face of inhumane exploitation. And so, with deep embarrassment I show my humble gratitude to all the children of the world who made the products I enjoy using. Appreciation and apology don't go well together- neither do child and labor. At the very least, in your honor, we need to increase our knowledge and awareness of these corrupt practices and remove our support of them wherever possible. To the children, may your dreams be richer than our own and may we all help to support those dreams one day, ameen.

http://www.childinfo.org/labour.html
http://www.freethechildren.com/
http://goodweave.org/index.php?pid=9300

Kishore Kumar - Ghungru Ki Tarha Bajta Hi Raha

2011-11-12T23:50:00.001-05:00

Truth in Numbers and Shapes

2011-11-10T19:56:00.000-05:00

Written on the 17th of February, 2011

It can be argued that the numbers 0, 1 & 2 are the three most important and fundamental numbers to understand life. If we understand these quantities for what they are in relation to the natural world, we see that these three are sufficient in explaining our physical (and perhaps even metaphysical) world. Why? Let’s examine what these numbers mean: 0 is the first integer or whole number, it signifies the quantity of nothing. The number 0 is not divisible, it has no parts, it is the very essence of the concept of whole. In some ways, it is the most “powerful” number if we can call it that, because its properties are not affected by other numbers yet it can negate any number. Zero cannot be multiplied either because it is singular reality. When added or subtracted with other numbers, it blends in perfectly with the number, almost as if it wasn’t there and yet it can swallow whole any number that tries to multiply or divide it, this is its “strength.” It is also a “negative reality” for we can only verify its existence through the absence of a minimum (1). In other words, if a thing (1) is not there, then we can say there is nothing or (0). Zero in-of-itself is technically the most whole and largest number if we consider that it has no spacial dimension and no definition were we to graph the quantity visually; it can be as small or large as infinity. In other words, it cannot be confined to a point, it exists beyond the three dimensions of reality; or rather, it is an element of reality that helps define other variables. This can also be said of the number 1, however, 0 cannot be a graphed spacial quantity the way that number 1 can be represented as a single point on a graph with X, Y, & Z three-dimensional coordinates.

The number 1 is the property of existents, where every existent being can be represented by it and it is also the locus of relationship which begins with the duplication of 1 (that is the number 2.) The number 1 has the property of verification that all existents have (i.e- is it real or not?) If we see a thing, we know it is there and can verify that in some basic physical form it exists. This is the reality of 1. This is also referred to as ‘positive reality.’ 1 is also the primary number of any form of duplicity/multiplicity. If there are four entities, there are four singular loci of relationships; four points on a graph, 1 + 1 + 1 +1. This makes the number 1 the focal point of experience and relationship in all existent beings, for it is by our locus that we engage with another locus, point, or thing. It is the medium through which all interactions take place.

The number 2 is the beginning of all spacial relationships between two existent entities. It signifies duplicity and this we see occurring everywhere in the natural world. If there are two loci of experience it is true that there can always be some form of relationship between the two, just as on a graph there can always be a line connecting the two points. Once the initial connection is there it exists on some plane forever, even if the two points themselves no longer exist physically, it can always be stated that “at such-and-such point in time, this kind of relationship existed between these two.” It is important to note that the term ‘spacial relationship’ is not limited to the physical three-dimensional world and it extends onto the spiritual plane where the points or physical loci of manifestation may have moved or no longer exist but the connection between them is still existent. Once something is connected in some way it can never be unconnected. If I know Sally it means I’ve connected with her entity on some level, even if we move far apart or have never met physically, my locus of experience (i.e- my ‘self’) has interacted with her existence and a connection becomes established. Were I to die, it can always be stated “Shawn knew Sally.” And just as any number of shapes can be made to connect these two entities, there are a virtually infinite array of possible relationships (1) can have with another (1). So we see that these three numbers explain the three-dimensional plane we experience in the natural world. The number 0 explains the concept of infinity or limitless-ness, it signifies non-existence and the unverifiable existents as none-things that still have a reality ( it’s something) that’s why we call the number 0 an integer because it designates a quantity (even if we don’t know what that quantity is.) In short, 0 signifies the world of ‘negative reality.’ The number 1 signifies existent reality or ‘positive reality,’ existents that can be verified by the five senses. It also introduces the concept of multiplicity and the smallest form of that is in the dyad (1) + (1). This is precisely the significance of the number 2, in that it introduces duplicity and the beginning of all relationships. None-existence (negative) existence (positive,) and duplicity; 0,1,& 2 account for the three-dimensions.

If we look at life, we see that the most basic observations to be made in life are the verifications of reality or truths, “does it exist/does it not exist?” Whenever we encounter anything in the physical world the instantaneous report we receive from our brain and senses is – “it exists.” When we know something exists, we know we can interact with it in some way; we can approach it, engage it with our senses or simply ponder some aspect of it. That is really the meaning of life – the relationships between truths. The statement, “I am here” and “you are here” doesn’t mean much but the relationship between the two existents “I” and “you” is where all the meaning lies. This is where a discussion of shapes becomes useful. If we say that life is the verification of truths, we can also say these truths are loci or points on a graph that exist in time and space. If we say that the graph is the natural world, then the graph quickly begins filling up of points on varying dimensions ad infinitum. But what’s missing is the connections between these truths. This is where we “connect the dots” and give meaning to the relationships between entities; for example, what is their distance? We said earlier that any relationship starts between two points and this is true of all shapes as well. We can make any shape by joining two line segments and complex ones at that. If I am engaged in conversation between two others, we become three. Graphically, we can be shaped as a triangle on the same plane or our three points can exist on three different planes. But whatever the case may be, each point is connected to the other two by a line segment; in other words, it is an engagement of two or duplicity. This is why any form of multiplicity is essentially dealing with 2 at a time. Whether we speak of tens, hundreds, or thousands of people, graphically these are all points with line segments joining them in whatever fashion. The total (n) quantity of points itself is insignificant, what is significant is that any interaction is always duplicity at work because that is the basic structure of any relationship – a line segment, and how the two points connect.

If we then were to look at our own lives we’d see that our life would graphically look like a center point with line segments extending in all directions to various other points on the grid. Each one of us has formed so many relationships in our lives that it would almost look like a beam of light radiating from a single point in space and stretching in all directions (picture the glare from the sun as a visual.) Since each self is a locus of experience, each one of those existent points itself would have these ‘rays of light’ extending outward to other points, one of which would be connecting to you. Such a brilliant array of relationships would look nothing short of celestial constellations shining in all directions. Such is the story of life that starts from nonexistence (0) and moves unto existence (1) and continues from duplicity (2) and its many degrees of relationships, 3, 4, 5… and so on so forth.

Finally we can discuss the metaphysical world that begins with 0. The number 0 is really like a gateway between the positive and negative realities. Once the body is dead, does that entity continue to exist? Yes, but not in the same way. We speak of historical figures in this way and some existents have passed away thousands of years ago but are still remembered today, they exist for us in some manner and exert influence upon us whether it be their teaching or influence that shapes our perceptions and experience of our life. In other words, they have meaning to us and therefore, relevance. So if we look at a life, let’s refer to it by quantity (1), can we say that once it is no longer physically existent, it becomes (0)? Yes and no. In a mathematical sense of subtraction, yes it becomes zero but the existent does not become “no-thing,” rather they become a none-thing or a negative entity; something which can no longer be physically verified as a truth or axis, point, or locus of experience. Does this mean that they stop experiencing simply because we can no longer perceive its ability to experience? Not necessarily. Remember, the number 0 is neither small nor large, as paradoxical as it may seem it is both at the same time because we cannot perceive what it really is; so too, are the dead that pass away, for their quality is ambiguous but it can be stated that they are now, after having passed on to the other side, (-1).

Why -1? Because they still exist as an entity on some plane, even if not physically present, their meaning exists and therefore the connection or relationship to us exists – they are some-thing, and a thing we know is a quantity of 1. It is negative because we cannot see it, we cannot count 1,2,3 spirits for example, because we cannot measure negative quantities with our senses. But we know that when they were living they were (1) existent and it is likely they are now (1) existent as well, only negative for having gone beyond the zero. Thought is an example of a negative existence because its something that doesn’t have a positive form, but can we put a quantity on it? In some ways, yes, because we say things like “I had a thought” which is singular or “I was thinking” which we know is a collection of singular thoughts. So if thoughts work like negative numbers, aren’t memories of the same cloth? A memory, afterall, is a thought about a relationship between two entities; so duplicity still exists between the two, only in different states. The deceased is remembered and memories are passed on to future generations and the non-existent remains as (-1). Here we can also say that (-1) +(-1) is the duplicity or relationship between two non-existents (-2) just as two positive entities bonding are (2). We can see that, although non-existent in the positive sense, there is still a quantity to these entities even beyond the physical world and that the elements in this world still apply to the next world. It is how we can say we (1) live in a world of relationships formed through duplicity (2) and when we are subtracted from the world, we pass through (0) and continue relationships on the other side as (-1) & (-2).

One shape that symbolizes the world and its dynamics that hasn't yet been addressed is the circle. If we look at our physical world (the planet) we see it is an ellipsoid, or oblate spheroid technically-speaking, but nonetheless a type of circle or sphere. The characteristic of a sphere is a center point in space that is surrounded on all sides by more or less equal distance from the center point. Without getting so much into geometry, we can see that there is a start and end overlap that can be traced as we travel the distance around the sphere; in other words, there is a revolving nature to it. We find in life there is duality and complimentarity to many things: the sun and the moon, light and dark, male and female, good and evil, Summer and Winter, Spring and Autumn, life and death, movement and quietude, etc. The eastern traditions speak of the Tao as harmony of the cosmic principles of Yin & Yang and Hinduism speaks of the principle of Karma and both Hinduism and Buddhism speak of life as the Samsara (cycle) of birth and death. These traditions note the actions of nature and man are governed by this spherical law; that what goes up must come down, what is left goes right- what is will become its opposite. When we travel around the sphere there is a polar opposite point that supports our position, so when we are good it is because we are not bad, when we are alive its because we're not dead, and when there is light it is because there is no darkness, etc. There is also revolution in life and is evident: the seasons shift in turn, the strong become the weak and the weak become strong, parents raise children then are cared for by their offspring in old age, etc. The complimentarity of nature necessitates the opposites to co-exist and creates duality in the world. Duality and complimentarity suggest that there are polar opposites and polar opposites suggest a sphere and a sphere suggests revolution. This explains why there is a cyclical pattern to life when examining mental and physical worlds.

Life and the afterlife can then be summarized on the number scale of a range of (-2) to (2) where positive and negative relationships continue with the axis of experience (our selves or souls) between the gate of (0) which acts as the mediator of life and death. And all the relationships we form are as numerous as the shapes we can form between various points on a grid. These relationships give us the meaning to our existence and life while life itself is simply the verification of truths which is fashioned by complimentarity and revolution; opposite forces and repetition.

Ethics of Attention

2011-11-10T19:47:00.000-05:00

Written on the 3rd of October, 2010

Treating every human being you meet as if they are the only one worthy of your focused & concentrated attention– is this the right way to treat others? If so or if not, why? Certainly it fits the prophetic model. Personally, I find it an unattainable goal and too impractical, but still a worthy ideal to keep in mind and aspire toward. When I do have the time for someone, it is my aim and hope to implement this belief to whatever realistic degree possible though my family/friends can rightfully attest to my ‘unsatisfactory’ grade in this respect. It is more often that I don’t have the right time for people to allow this type of quality treatment, and I would imagine is so for nearly everyone who lives in the real world; affected by annoyances, pains, hunger, weariness, and the long list of things that would go under ‘etc.’ I guess the point I’m trying to crystallize is the degree of attention found in a clinical relationship between clinician and clients in a therapeutic environment and whether that type of attention is possible to give to nearly everyone we meet outside of that environment, and on a consistent basis. If it is possible, I’d imagine it requiring an exorbitant amount of energy the likes of which even a solar-nuclear-powered person would have trouble dishing out. But I guess the point is that we should try our best whenever possible to be attentive to the utmost, with the person directly being engaged. The hurdles of self-doubt and other-doubt make this extremely difficult; when others will question your ‘ulterior motive’ and in turn make you question yourself. Of course treating people as a means instead of an end unto itself is unethical and doesn’t fit the conversation here, but the goal is to give people your time and resources without expecting a return, though the world will cast you otherwise. Only those who are fortunate can continue this. But who knows, maybe one day we will require that degree of attention from someone else, and they will more readily give it to us if we have been giving it to them all along. God help us!

The Path To Perfection

2011-11-10T19:39:00.001-05:00

Written on the 2nd of June, 2010

The path to the perfect state of existence lies on the other side. Mentally, a thought can reach it, but our ideals cannot fit between the tight crevices of intangibility and improbability; between hardships and circumstance, between stereotypes and prejudices, between enemies and injustice, between dishonesty and cheating, between war and oppression, between theft and hunger, between hurt and wrongdoing, between pain and sorrow, and the countless crevices that stand between our perfection and reality as it is. So that’s why the world has to be left behind at the entrance to the path toward perfection. And if your world must accompany you on this journey, only with contentment then can one pass through.

Legends

2011-11-10T18:28:00.001-05:00

By Ruhudeen Ali
(2006-'07)

Legends are born riders on the storm;

from society torn, scorned and left alone

by rejecting the norms

their minds' shapeless of forms

only to return with corrective reforms

ascending the throne while yesterday unknown.

The Arrogance of Killing

2011-11-10T18:04:00.003-05:00

Written on the 29th of May, 2010

I was reflecting today on the reasons why people feel they have a right to take another life. Seeing all the death and murder on the news in our times, and really since the earliest times, has lead me to question and analyze the motives and dynamics behind such a cruel and irreversible act. I realize it’s not common to ask or write about such a controversial topic but I think we should, as a society, investigate the question: “why do people kill?” not just for the obvious value of the prevention of senseless death and the preservation of life, but also for justice to the dead victims of this crime against life. We talk hours on end about trivial things that don’t matter all that much yet we don’t seriously ask and challenge the questions and notions that really affect and impact our society. So I’m asking the question, why do murderers think its OK to take another life?

In my usual manner, I first look at the spiritual forces at work whenever I take to analyze any question. In my opinion, a person has to have a set of traits and qualities that precondition him/her to accept what they perceive to be their justification for their crime. They are likely: (1.) Disenfranchised, (2.) Angry/Bitter/Resentful, (3.) Feel they’ve been wronged, (4.) Full of egotistical pride, (5.) Anti-social (6.) Believe in restoring power through violence, (7.) Believe ends justify means. In a nutshell, they perceive a sense of cosmic betrayal; whether it be by a god or society or an identity group of which they are a member, they feel rejected somehow by the ‘other(s)’ category. The perceived rejection itself is based on several factors, whether or not the person was mal-adjusted (culturally, economically, etc.,) psychologically/emotionally unstable, or anti-social with the larger society which would make it actual rejection (or in the case where it’s perceived it would then lead to the angry, anti-social, and detached views.) It is this betrayal they perceive that forms their opinion of justice and their view of feeling wronged by the ‘other(s)’ and in order to correct this unjust chaotic system, some radical means (i.e- violence) are taken to justify a ‘noble’ end of restoring proper justice and order in their warped world-view. The final piece is the egotistical pride they develop as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile egos against the dread of mass-rejection by the larger society, perceived or real. The inflated ego also protects the fragile mind by justifying horrendous actions that take away from others and give to self. These elements combined comprise the seven characteristics (more or less) that influence a mal-adjusted, resentful, power-hungry person to become dangerous because they will seek to reclaim that loss of power and correct their sense of injustice.

Examining this from another angle, we need only look at our treatment of other life forms which we regard as less important than our own. It’s a speciesist attitude that measures our lesser life comforts greater than the quality of life and existence of another sentient being. Take for example, the common view of household bugs and rodents as pests. It’s fine to be upset by the unwelcomed presence of another life form in your dwellings, but unless there is a mutual threat of mortality to both parties, we are automatically then placing less urgent desires (than the desire to safeguard our life [as in the case of an armed burglar]) over the value of another creature’s existence, and find that as a justification to take its life – something that it can never get back nor ever be replaced. And this is quite common, a number of household products have been developed to make it all the more convenient, but let’s not fool ourselves, it is the taking of another life; it is an act of murder.

So when we kill a bug because we think it might bite us, are we justified? When we think it might tear holes in our clothes, are we justified then? When we think its just annoying to look at, or that it will reproduce, is this our justification for killing? What gives one finite, sentient being the right to take away the one life of another finite, sentient being? If we look at it objectively, we see that 9 times out of 10, there is no serious jeopardy to our life by the presence of these unwelcomed critters, and that since its no longer a question of “my life or your life,” it then becomes an issue of “your life or my comfort;” quite egotistical, no? Now let’s say it’s not just two or three bugs but an entire swarm that has taken over your room. Now you have no access to your bedroom, soon they take over your house. Now you’re an outcast, what do you do? (A.) Accept it and move away? (B.) Fight back? Or (C.) Murder your way back into your room? Most people would have already called the fumigators before reaching the point of becoming refugees, so it looks like the answer, for most people, is (C.) Huh, look at all you senseless murderers!

Now let’s suppose those bugs did take over your house, you’re now rejected, powerless, and feel wronged. You’re angry and egotistical, you just KNOW that its YOUR home and YOUR right to have it back, no matter the means to obtain it. You just KNOW that they’re stupid bugs and don’t mean anything to anyone or have any real value compared to your own life. You want your place back and you have the power to overcome these insect-invaders and you will use violence to achieve that end. So you decide to kill them all and regain your house and room. Congratulations, you are a murderer. Just with this analogy alone we’ve demonstrated most of those seven attributes that compel people to murder insects, so the question is, can it apply to humans too? It sure does.

In many cases of murder, there is no mutual threat of mortality where both parties equally face death if they don’t remove the cause first. In that case, there is one clear victim and one clear perpetrator and the perpetrator has judged his/her own life quality to be greater than the life in totality of the other sentient being. There can be any number of excuses (or what they would call justification) to rationalize their murderous act. But the truth of it is, their own life was not in danger, they only killed the other life-form because it either didn’t suite their interests to have them live, or their existence caused them some pain or discomfort or other type of unpleasant experience, or their death would result in some self-serving benefit, and so they judged these lesser things to be greater than the value of life itself. Once the life is taken, it can never come back, nor will a new life replace a lost life for in truth, that unique body, and that unique collected experience – that unique soul – is forever departed.

It needs to be asked then, what has lead people to believe other life-forms to be dispensable? For starters, I think it stems from a reckless and irresponsible view of life itself. Most people do not put much thought into the act of bringing a new life into this world, not nearly as much as they would have to think about taking one out of it. In other words, just as a murderer doesn’t consciously think about the many consequences of his murderous crime, most people do not consciously think about the consequences of bringing a life into existence. Most people place other personal reasons for having a child above the very child’s life itself. Whether it has to do with them wanting to have a child or wanting some help or company or needing someone to care for them in old age, life is not celebrated for its own reasons but to serve the quality of another life – isn’t this reckless attitude the same as a murderer’s? There are also those who have babies to compete, exploit, or seek some other gain in society. The use [and abuse] of life for the improvement of the quality of another existant, this is a masked version of the same “your life or my comfort” scenario discussed earlier isn’t it? Then you have those who have already decided what their children must be before they are born. “I will have a son who will be a doctor, a daughter who will be a singer.” The formula is: “I will create you IF you please me and do what I say” It’s the same thought of a murderer: “I will kill you IF you don’t please me and don’t do what I say.” And then there are those who are annoyed or angry with the creation of a fetus after having had their carnal pleasures and rather wish to destroy the baby fetus (i.e- abortion,) sometimes for the sole purpose of removing the evidence that they had sex, isn’t this like murdering a witness to a crime? These are just some illustrations conveying the idea that murder and accidental birth are connected by a reckless and dispensable view of life. If murder requires calculation and consideration to dissuade life’s taking, so too must the conception of life require calculation and consideration to persuade its creation.

If we intend to be serious about reducing murders in our societies we should also be serious about reducing unplanned offspring (not by aborting, unless there was rape involved) but by controlling our desires and placing the importance of life in its own category and not for the lesser pleasures of another human life. No life should be seen as an expense to improve the quality of another, but rather that the quality of that life itself spreads quality into one’s own. People should have children for the right reasons; to bring new life into society and contribute to the richness and diversity of society, just as people should not kill others for the fact that it takes away from the quality of life itself, and we all only have one life to live. In that oneness, we all share. It then becomes imperative for us to respect the autonomy of each life and resist the tendency on all levels to abuse the life of another for the pleasure and comfort of one’s own.

'To Love, Be Lovable'

2011-11-08T00:37:00.006-05:00

Written on the 18th of April, 2010

A while back I was having a conversation with a friend on confidence-building based on the appreciation for the beauty that is contained within each soul/spirit placed on this Earth. If you believe in a divine originator, you cannot then separate the link that exists between that divine source and every living thing. As humans we occupy a special place in creation and, compared to other creatures, exhibit a greater display of the wonderous workings of that divine source. It is that divine source’s craft, the mark of all of creation, which is stamped on our souls and should be a cause of happiness for us. Too often in life however, many of us will hold our heads down in shame, sadness or some other kind of self-reproachment when we lose sight of the good that has been placed in us. Granted, countless numbers of people who have lived on this planet have taken that initial goodness and obscured it, abandoned it, forgotten it or worse. The source of their good light obscured, they then allowed their souls to grow poisonous weeds instead of fruit-bearing plants. It becomes our moral obligation to protect and preserve this amazing work and its powerful abilities held deep within our spirit/soul, our heart, our mind, lest our potential is diverted from good and becomes a seat for evil and corruption.

However, before judging or ‘writing people off,’ it is important to remember the divine source of each person and that their manufacturing came from the best place, by the best manufacturer, and by the best sources and materials. It is this reminder that I believe is the reason to have pride and confidence in one’s creation. Ego-pride is something altogether different, and is not the type of pride I speak of nor advocate, but rather, having the knowledge, confidence, and assurance that your creation has met the highest of standards set by the creator of all things and that you are proof of that divine source’s most amazing craft-work out of all that exists around you.

This is an amazing perspective once you truly embrace it, because not only does it give you amazing confidence in who you are but it makes you grateful for what you’ve been given as far as your creation is concerned and [if truly understood] humbles your ego (your personalized soul) in that the ego – by default – falls short of the incredible potential that has been placed in it, for one simply cannot do justice to the divine qualities placed within their spirit, but the goal is to try one’s best to exhibit the best of what has been placed within themselves. In other words, the ego cannot fully actualize the seemingly limitless potential within one’s being. Only with the attitude that one can only try and work towards actualizing divine potential can one attempt to do one’s creation justice while keeping ego-pride in-check. When a famous designer makes a work of art, it is taken in the best of care to preserve and display that work with the best display and presentation, with an air of humility knowing others will critique that display based on the value of the product that is being displayed. Similarly, God has created this most amazing art which is the human spirit and it should be in our care to present it in the best manner possible, having humility in the fact that we are not displaying our divine art to its fullest. Below is a letter from Deepak Chopra on ‘love’ and mirrors this concept quite well.
-Ruhudeen Ali
——————————————————————
To Love, Be Lovable

To begin with, we can’t keep confining romance to an emotional state; we must redefine it as a surrender to the mystery of our own spirit- sat chit ananda- for beneath the turbulence of emotion that is what romance is. It is a state in which your primary relationship is not with your beloved but with your Self. Romance therefore begins when you can show your soul to another person.

The secret to being attractive, if one consults the past record of human experience, is remarkably simple. It is summarized in an aphorism from the Latin poet Ovid, who said, “To love, be lovable.” A lovable person is someone who is natural, easy with himself or herself, radiating the simple, unaffected humanity that makes anyone truly attractive.
Sometimes however, the simplest solutions are the most difficult to achieve. People find themselves caught up in the anxious search for love precisely because they don’t feel lovable. The very condition that would make for romance is absent. It is sad to say, but many of us have never felt lovable, even in childhood, when we had the fewest defenses against love and therefore could approach it with the most spontaneous innocence. A child who does not easily ask for affection and attention, who does not blossom when these are supplied, or who lives with her or his appeals unanswered, has been deprived of the very essence of childhood. Even for those of us who were loved adequately as children and therefore are in touch with our lovableness, bringing it forth is incredibly difficult in the current social climate.
Being lovable isn’t a superficial quality; it is a quality of spirit. Ananda cannot be destroyed, only covered over. In the end, if you can see yourself as spirit, it won’t matter what conditioning has occurred in the past, whether you were fortunate enough to be raised with loving values or so unfortunate that you were discouraged and made to feel ugly and worthless. Remember, in our inner most being, we are all completely lovable because spirit is love. Beyond what anyone can make you think or feel about yourself, your unconditioned spirit stands, shining with a love nothing can tarnish.
If being lovable really is the secret to attraction, then there is no need for anxious searching, because your own being, which can never be lost, doesn’t have to be found. The whole process of making yourself attractive to others, of constantly waiting for someone else’s response, of desperately comparing yourself with an ideal image can come to an end. The only requirement is a shift in perception, for those who cannot find love perceive themselves as not being lovable. This is not true, but they make it seem true by linking their perception to a powerful system of beliefs.
What creates romance is the ability to see yourself as lovable.
This shift in perception happens not by changing who you are but by seeing who you are and then shining it forth. If you were able to exhibit the full grandeur of your being, your whole life would be a romance, one long love story dedicated to ecstasy and joy. Rumi puts it elegantly when he declares,
By God, when you see your beauty
You’ll be the idol of yourself.
Nothing is more beautiful than naturalness. It alone contains the mystery and allure that spark romance. Trying to be cosmetically attractive is beside the point, for we are talking here about authenticity.
To be authentic, you have to be everything that you are, omitting nothing. Within everyone there is a light and shadow, good and evil, love and hate. The play of these opposites is what constantly moves life forward; the river of life expresses itself in all its changes from one opposite to another. If you can truly embrace these opposites within yourself, you will be authentic, and as your self-acceptance expands until there is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide, your life will take on the generosity and warmth that marks every great lover.

Love,
Deepak

A Wholistic Work Ethic

2011-11-08T00:30:00.000-05:00

Written on the 8th of February, 2010

Every type of labor and field has a physical, mental, and spiritual component to it. At times the bearings of these three dimensions will have varying effects upon an individual; the weight of which will affect one’s performance. Ultimately, the significance of the spiritual dimension outweighs the other two. If one is not prepared spiritually for their work in life, they will be crushed by even a single atom of burden from the other two. But if the spirit is willing, mental or physical pain and struggle will not impede one. Your entire being has a role to play in your work. The key to unlocking your whole being’s potential contribution is through sincerity. Your sincerity will be a measure of your efficiency and efficacy and sincerity can be improved through honesty. Earnestly assess your abilities and limits; honestly improve upon each of the three dimensions where there is room for improvement. So prepare physically, tune your mind, meditate and reflect over the importance of your spirit’s work in your affairs and prosper in the knowledge that you put your all into your efforts, and work happily, sleep peacefully.

The Goodly Tree

2011-11-08T00:28:00.000-05:00

Written on the 7th of January, 2010

A few days ago I had a dream in which I was being preached to by someone (I want to say it was me because I can recollect the words as being spoken through my own voice.) In my dream, I was being shown the extent of the effects each of my actions had generated, both the good and the bad ones. What was interesting however, was how I remember feeling shocked in my dream to see how incredible it was to witness how far-reaching a simple smile of mine might have gone to brighten not only one person’s day, but that of several people, as my smile’s recipient added my gesture to their own strength and passed on the torch of goodness unto those who needed it. Similarly, I was aghast to witness the ill effects of certain ill deeds I had committed and just how far its effects had spread, was truly frightening to me (at least in the innocence of my dream.)The last part of the dream had me shown the difference between acting righteously irreverent of the good returns and the concept of Karma itself. What I can remember from the dream was that Karma is simply a rule of nature; in that you reap what you sow and that many people use this as a check & balance to encourage good deeds in expectation of further good and fear retribution for ill deeds. The preacher, it seems, was trying to get me to see the difference between this way of thinking and that of being a good or bad “tree” [i.e- the parable of the tree spoken of in the Scriptures of the Qur'an and the Bible.] Living this way was intended to be for its own purpose, and not necessarily for the knowledge of earning future rewards from a good action or prohibiting bad actions for the fear of reprisal. Karma is simply the natural order of consequences under which all actions fall within, and this parable of being the good tree is no exception. So in fact, the voice was simply stating, that like Karma, actions have their consequences and that good actions bear good fruits for future good and bad actions stunt growth and cut off future good.When I had awoke, I felt like I had a new mission in life, (or at least a worthy resolution for the New Year.) I felt that I should live in such a way that, no matter the consequences, I become that “goodly tree;” to live to the best of my abilities and virtues with all whom I interact with, with no regrets for a good deed or well-intentioned action. This, of course, with an air of caution since not all well-intentioned actions are wise actions. That said, I felt this great feeling upon waking up and a renewed spirit to willingly put myself and my interests on jeopardy’s path if it meant ultimate good for more than just myself as each good deed we do for others will not only benefit its recipient but ultimately benefit us as well in some way. This was a feeling I had not felt in years, a feeling I had missed for some time and only felt in the height of my religiosity during my undergraduate college years. Call it a selfless love for my fellow man and woman, my brothers and sisters in humanity. It’s a deep treasure that needs protection from a world of theft and corruption of ideals so pristine they can only live deep within a pure heart. And I am no one to claim such a heart, but at the same time, we must all recognize the divine and pure Source that our hearts come from and that is God. I like to believe there is somewhere in our hearts – in each of us – a special place that cannot be corrupted because it was programmed to be resistant to evil, no matter how close it reaches this sacred spot, sort of like the ultimate hacker-proof file on a computer system, designed by the best of programmers – God Himself. This spot is like our Mecca and holy city where all ill is barred and prohibited from entering and corrupting the very source and essential core of what makes us human.It is this spot to which my dream addresses in each of us. To plant this seed of the goodly tree on the fertile soil of the pure and sacred spot within our hearts. If we start to see ourselves as an unstoppable mechanism for good in this world then we may just be able to overcome many of the obstacles to peace that we once thought insurmountable and unscalable. We should, from time to time, reflect on a simple bad deed we have done and see just how that behavior affected so many others on multiple levels. If that be the case of a simple bad action then what of a great one, and the greatest of our blunders? Similarly, we can restore hope by reflecting on the simple good acts and the greatest of good acts we’ve done and how much they really mean and weigh in the eyes of reality itself. We measure the value of something by the weight of its consequence but when the measurement is off due to the imperceptibility of each atom of weight, we are thrown off. Reality will be the judge of our actions, atom by atom, and give us our due by the true weight of what we have done on this Earth.This is only a reminder to myself and all of you who read this that we can avoid becoming the barren seed and tree which bears no fruit or use. We are each given life so that our life can give rise to more life, not that we restrict it, oppress it, or sentence it to death. We can each try at least to live like the goodly tree, whose roots are strong, skin is tough, branches are always ready to catch a blessing and provide food and rest for those under our care and when we pass from this world, our wood will give use to more positive ends. This is the meaning of the dream and I hope you and I can achieve it in our lifetimes, ameen.

Fix

2011-11-05T05:16:00.000-04:00

"Fix"

By Ruhudeen Ali

November 4th, 2011

These thoughts are so rusted

These eyes are so tired

This body needs repair

Has the hope gone expired?

The excitement is so short

The pain is predictable

Regret retorts

The cycle is inevitable.

This feeling is so abused

The suffering seems endless

I am so confused

I do not pretend this.

The cure is so distant

The answers are lost

Yet the questions are persistent

Living on, but at what cost?

This scene is oft-played

The soul needs a prayer

This body has quickly-aged

Still it tarries toward despair.

This place was once scary

But now its home to this purpose gone rotten

To this weary body the pain is so normal

That the cure is now forgotten.

Halal Toxication

2011-11-02T02:49:00.000-04:00

Written on the18th of April, 2009

So I’ve been poisoned apparently, though it was years ago. And ‘why’ do you say? For being an observant Muslim it seems. Ok, well that’s not entirely true. But I’ll tell the story anyway….

Since 2000 as a Freshman in college, I had observed to the best of my ability the Islamic ruling on eating only halal (zabihah) food while at school. It was not something I had done my entire life as I was raised somewhat ‘secular’ but stayed away from culturally significant haram practices less so religiously prohibited ones. It was a struggle at first, like all uphill battles, but luckily my soul wasn’t so far into hell that I couldn’t get myself to do this. But what I do recall is how my Arab brethren were braggingly advertising the permissibility of eating ‘ahl al kitab’ or the meat of ‘the People of the Book’ (which is actually halal.)

No, this does not mean that they were eating the meat off the Jews and Christians. It meant eating the same meat that they were allowed (via Mosaic Law) to eat as well (i.e- Kosher.) Only their definition of what was included in ‘ahl al kitab’ varied from what my personal views on the matter were; namely the inclusion of any and all permissible animals slaughtered and served in this country. The logic was that this country (America) is a Christian country and that the meat of this country falls under the banner of ‘ahl al kitab.’ It didn’t take me long to completely dismiss their argument, but what I did envy was their apparent nonchalance and ease when choosing items of food to eat. Meanwhile, I was the guy who had to eat either:

Pizza
Pasta
The occasional halal meal (fridays)
Sushi
Fish burgers
Or my absolute ‘favorite’ default meal – Tuna sandwiches

That's a lot of fish huh? Which brings me to the the story of how I was presumably poisoned. In my freshman year, I ate a tuna sandwich everyday. Everyday; at least once, sometimes twice. Now let me give you a picture of how much tuna is packed into a college sandwhich. Normally a regular size can of tuna contains 5 oz. (142g) of meat which is about 2 serving sizes. However, these sandwhichs had easily 7 – 7.5 oz. of meat per sandwhich. That meant that I was getting anywhere from 7 oz. – 15 oz. of tuna, daily. This does not even include the days where I would make my own sandwhichs (tuna of course) at home after coming back from classes. As a general rule though, I would not eat more than 2 tuna sandwhichs a day (this was even before I learned about mercury poisoning.) The following years (2001-2004) I cut down on my tuna intake and averaged about 4-5 sandwhichs per week and would eat either pizza, pasta, sushi, or burgers (fish burgers mind you) for the other meals. There was hardly a day I can remember (and thanks to the mercury poisoning I can barely remember anything!) where I wasn’t eating some kind of fish – it was the safest choice for a Muslim kid trying to be observant and staying away from non-zabiha meat (or so I thought at the time.)

As early as 2003, I can still remember that I was experiencing strange physiological differences in my head which I had never felt before. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. I figured I was simply depressed and had a lack of focus in my career path, etc. I lived in a basement of a house at the time so I just blamed it on the lack of sunlight, sadly, it would be my fate to live in basements for the remainder of my college years so the ‘basement = no sunlight’ hypothesis was a convenient explanation for the strange feelings I was having. I would sometimes feel electric currents running in parts of my head, parts of my head would suddenly feel cold and at other times, numb. Strange pains and sensations would occur but it wasn’t really until I had started losing my short-term (working) memory that I started taking real notice of it.

By that time it was 2004 and I remember sharing this story with a friend about the strange sensations in my head, she told me that I should just go to the clinic if I was really concerned but that it was probably just stress from school. So I didn’t think much of it and continued to brush it off. I had taken the 2005 school year off due to family reasons and upon returning home, I had regressed back to old habits and thoughts and felt my depression coming back. It started dawning on me that perhaps the depression was the cause of my lack of concentration, focus, and memory (as is common in depression.) So I had begun taking nutritional supplements (gingko biloba) and others (Focus Factor) to help boost my slipping memory, which was really beginning to alarm me by this point. Upon returning to school in 2006, I remember I was afraid that I could no longer comprehend the difficult material I was accustomed to in some of my hardest classes (due to the concentration/focus/memory retention factors) and read something I had written in my earlier years and barely even recognized it as my own work! Things were looking weird.

However, I successfully completed the semester with a 4.0 GPA and aced the 2 hardest classes of my college career thus far – it was a resounding victory for me in that I knew I had conquered the doubting demon that was trying to tell me that I was going ‘mad.’ Sadly, that demon had other plans for me the following years.

Since 2006, I have been living at home, taking care of my sick mother, doing errands/chores, and managing bills and other duties of all kinds (aside from the caretaking.) For 101 other reasons, I was justified in losing my mind. But this was different – I had started forgetting important memories, childhood hallmarks I had remembered for my whole life. I was getting scared and depressed. I didn’t know why I was losing so much of my memory. I felt I was being cursed for my sins and slowly began slipping even more because of all this.

It was during my years at home that I came to the knowledge of heavy-metal toxication (namely in the form of mercury poisoning,) what its symptoms are, how long it lasts, how to avoid it etc. I learned that the FDA recommends about 12 oz. of various fish per week (lower in mercury content of course.) Sadly, I was getting a minimum of 35 oz per week – nearly three times the FDA recommendation per week, for about six months a year, for the course of six years total. And to make matters worse, of all fish, it was tuna. Due to the relatively high concentration of mercury in[albacore] tuna, many physicians discourage pregnant women from eating tuna altogether to avoid birth defects in infants.

Tuna, shellfish, shark, and other large fish contain higher levels of methylmercury (the form of organic mercury converted in water) which accrue through a process known as ‘bioaccumulation.’ The way it works is that natural elemental mercury will find its way into water (and in the case of most of the tri-state area) large industries will dump mercury-waste straight into the waters as well. The little fish will naturally take in trace amounts of mercury whereby larger predatorial fish will eat the smaller ones, building up the mercury levels through accumulation. The cycle continues until the largest fish in the ecosystem eat the little guys and have built up quite a bit of mercury in their systems. These big fish then make their way into our stomachs and yup, you guessed it – if you eat enough of it, you get poisoned. The tri-state area is actually found to have the highest degree of mercury content in its surrounding waters than any other region in the entire nation, as can be seen in the picture at the bottom of the post.

It is so potent in fact, that the FDA allows 5000 times less amount of mercury than it does even lead! Some symptoms of mercury poisoning are (taken by the EPA:)

Impairment of the peripheral vision
Disturbances in sensations (“pins and needles” feelings, numbness) usually in the hands feet and sometimes around the mouth
Lack of coordination of movements, such as writingImpairment of speech, hearing, walking;
Muscle weakness
Skin rashes
Mood swing
Memory loss
Mental disturbance

And sadly, I had experienced nearly all of these symptoms during the course of the years. Unfortunately mercury poisoning takes years of detoxification and if in large enough amounts can cause irreversible changes in brain chemistry. This is in no way an exhaustive research article on the subject and I encourage you all to read up more on the devastating long-term effects of mercury poisoning (and other toxin exposure) as these toxins are, unfortunately more common than we may think.

So back to my story of being an observant little good Muslim. Nobody told me about the dangers of eating too much fish and now I am suffering heavily because of it. There is no telling when (or if) these symptoms will be abated and/or if they can be compounded by other organic symptoms and changes in brain chemistry through things like depression, hormonal changes, and neurotransmitter levels. Without knowledge of the subject, I was duped into poisoning myself, but I write this in the hopes that it will warn others not to rely overly on one or two sources of food. A well-balanced diet is always recommended no matter how busy you may be. This is particularly common among Muslims in the West who are faced with problems concerning halal food and the ‘quick fish’ alternative. This matter must be more thoroughly researched and presented in our communities so that we can be armed with knowledge and make healthier choices in food.Don’t even ask how bad my memory is now….

(I live in an area with concentrated levels of mercury in its waters)

KMFDM - Glory

2011-10-26T06:34:00.003-04:00

This song should be the anthem of the Occupy Movement that's spreading around this country.

"WAR AND SLAVERYEXPLOITATIONTHE COMMON BASIS OF A WESTERN NATIONOFFICIAL VERSION, A FALSIFIED STORYTHE TRUTH LIES BURIED IN A SHROUD OF GLORYINFLUENTIAL PEOPLE AREN'T SERVING TIMEFOR BEING INVOLVED IN ORGANIZED CRIMEBUT STASHED AWAY IN BEAUTIFUL MANSIONSGUESS WHO PROVIDES FOR THEIR GENEROUS PENSIONSOPPRESSION, IGNORANCE, CENSORSHIP RULEEDUCATION IS MORE THAN WHAT'S TAUGHT IN SCHOOLFORCED IN A MOLD, HELD DOWN BY THREATSDECISIONS ARE MADE OVER OUR HEADSBUT THERE IS A WAY TO REFUSE AND RESISTWE DON'T NEED TO BE RULED WITH THE IRON FISTWE ARE THE PEOPLE, WE ARE STRONGLET'S MAKE UP OUR MINDS AND PROVE'EM WRONGBLACK MAN WHITE MAN YELLOW MANBLACK MAN WHITE MAN RIP THE SYSTEM (X2)RELIGION AND TV, WE'RE UNDER THE THUMBPRONE TO BELIEVE 'COZ WE'RE ALREADY NUMBBUT THERE IS A WAY TO REFUSE AND RESISTWE DON'T NEED TO BE RULED WITH THE IRON FISTWE ARE THE PEOPLE, WE ARE STRONGLET'S MAKE UP OUR MINDS AND PROVE'EM WRONGBLACK MAN WHITE MAN YELLOW MANBLACK MAN WHITE MAN RIP THE SYSTEM (X2)

Layers of Love

2011-10-26T06:30:00.000-04:00

By Ruhudeen Ali
October 24th, 2011

Love me as a slave

I'll be your servant, that I may love you as my mistress

then let me be your chief

so that you may love me as my harlot,

therein lies the design of power and lust.

Love me as a subordinate

I'll be your laborer, that I may love you as my superior

then let me be your manager

so that you may love me as my worker,

therein lies the nature of duty and justice.

Love me as a fan

I'll be your groupie, that I may love you as my idol

then let me be your role model

so that you may love me as my zealot,

therein lies the rubric of attraction and admiration.

Love me as a student

I'll be your pupil, that I may love you as my teacher

then let me be your mentor

so that you may love me as my apprentice,

therein lies the essence of reverence and adoration.

Love me as an equal

I'll be your brother, that I may love you as my sister

then let me be your best friend

so that you may love me as my peer,

therein lies the fundamentals of friendship and respect.

Love me as a companion

I'll be your lover, that I may love you as my wife

then let me be your husband

so that you may love me as my spouse,

therein lies the cornerstone of fidelity and partnership.

Love me as a child

I'll be your son, that I may love you as my mom

then let me be your father

so that you may love me as my daughter,

therein lies the blueprint of guardianship and compassion.

Love me as a sinner

I'll be your devotee, that I may love you as my saint

then let me be your sheikh

so that you may love me as my disciple,

therein lies the foundation of grace and devotion.

Love me as a minion

I'll be your worshipper, that I may love you as my goddess

then let me be your lord

so that you may love me as my follower

therein lies the mystery of worship and piety.

Love me as a creation

I'll be your servant, that I may love you as my God

then let me be Your vicegerent

so that You may love me in my imagination,

therein lies the plan of love and existence.

The Value of Life

2011-10-16T04:33:00.001-04:00

Written on the 5th of September, 2009

Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki - it's the Hiten Mitsurugi style's ultimate move. But why did it take Kenshin, a master of this style, so long to learn it?

Kenshin, for the entirety of his life, has been locked in a constant battle with his inner demons. The particular demon in question was no demon to question - the hitokiri battousai - the greatest assassin of the late Edo period, his former-self, consumed him. Battousai 'the Manslayer' was a legend all over Japan, and especially feared in Kyoto, in the Empire's capital. Throughout the rebellion and the years that followed, Kenshin's name garnered fear and repute and as soon as the battle was over, and the Rebels had defeated the Loyalists, Kenshin disappeared.

The following 10 years he fought the ghost of his past, atoning for his former sins as being one of the most ruthless killers that ever wielded a blade. He would take up the sakabato or "reverse-blade sword" and made a vow to never kill another living being again. He would instead make it his life's work to protect the weak and innocent people from the blade of the wicked with his sword and body as a sacrifice and atonement for his past. This Kenshin was the rurouni, the wanderer. Fighting for the people and those he loved, this is Kenshin's 1st battle. Though he protected the people with his sword, through all the torment and self-loathing, somewhere along the way Kenshin lost all value of his own life as he convinced himself of being the peoples' shield.

Those who knew his former strength always sought to challenge him and would mock him for what they perceived to be an unforgiveable weakness: the legendary 'manslayer' turning peace-maker was something they could not stomach. And so they fought, they tested him, they threatened him, his loved ones, and all that was dear to him just to get a challenge from the legendary swordsman that was nestled deep within his soul. His enemies tried to awaken him, knowing it would destroy them and himself, but they didn't care. They wanted him to forsake the ideal that he so desperately tried to live by and the renewed self that kept his spirit alive. This is Kenshin's 2nd battle, to fight off his enemies, not with the strength of the Battousai, but as a rurouni, and not just to win the battle for himself, but to educate and rectify his enemies.

Kenshin's 3rd battle lay also within himself, but more so concerned his will to survive. The years of being a ruthless killer took away his desire for life, but it was this crucial ingredient that his master realized Kenshin lacked. This was the missing element in the otherwise perfect warrior. He had no desire to live, and so the manslayer that lived deep in his heart took over his soul, and though he learned to use that power to protect the weak, he didn't care about the consequences it would have upon his own self. It didn't matter to him anymore. Kenshin's fight was with his former self, one that he didn't always win and a battle which most certainly took its toll upon him.

This backdrop sets the stage for this scene, where Kenshin's master teaches him the final two sword techniques of the Hiten Mitsurugi style and the vital life lessons that come along with them.

The Kuzu Ryu Sen is an attack that comes from all angles, it cannot under any circumstance be parried or blocked. One is left to simply accept their fate passively. Unless of course, they have the will to survive; a will so strong that it can defeat the fatalistic acceptance of the Kuzu Ryu Sen. This act of survival and love for life and of self, of pro-activism and care, strength, and will-power is the technique known as Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki. It took Kenshin the longest time to learn this move because he didn't have the courage to accept the responsibility of living his own life. It is here, that Kenshin realizes that he "still...[cares.]"

(Excuse the subpar English dubbing, the Japanese version was removed from YouTube)

It's a powerful scene for me not only because I love the character of Kenshin and can identify with him so well, but in fact, I feel it speaks to almost everybody in that everyone has a "manslayer" of some sort who attempts to dwell in their own dark side and even incite injurious (and self-injurious) action. For some its drugs, for others its sex, food, sports, music, games - whatever it is, everybody seeks that escape from reality which feels good in the short term but hurts them in the long-term. It's the pursuit of their "fix" or their "song." This is the manslayer in us all. It's this manslayer that eats away at us, no matter how well we hide it or channel it into something positive. Here is also where I relate to Kenshin.

I have tried to channel my negative traits into a positive path in life by seeking to help others and hope to stay committed to this goal. However, my own internal "battousai" sometimes gets the better of me and I lose sight of everything that's important, and on occassion, even the beauty and gift of life itself. I too echo the statement of Kenshin where my own "chaotic revolution" stripped me of all desire for life. But its this very element that is missing within me as well. To feel the love for self, the love for life and to cling to it, to not seek death, to not accept fate fatalistically, to not accept the blade of Kuzu Ryu Sen though it scoffs at us hoping we desperately accept and give-in - No. This is not the purpose of our existence.

We are meant to be great, to be strong, to stand up and defend, to work hard, to live every moment, to cry and laugh, to hurt and heal, suffer and enjoy every breath of life that we are blessed to have - we were meant to fight back the blade of Kuzu Ryu Sen and the blade of "absolute death" and all it throws at us. We are not meant to throw in the towel. We were meant to fight back with the blade of life. We are the blade of Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki, and today we are unsheathing this blade. Today, we are no longer hitokiri battousai, we are rurouni. Today, we have mastered the technique!

Life

2011-10-16T04:19:00.000-04:00

Written on 26th of May, 2009

Life must go on, though lives themselves must end. It’s something that’s been on my mind for a few days now. Why does life have to continue though lives end? Life provides benefits to those who have it but also risks and harm. There is gain and loss, good and bad, happiness and suffering. Those who have life fight for it while others throw in the towel. And yet still, most would argue that life is worth living, albeit difficult at times. What is life? Nearly all living things seek to preserve it and run from the danger of losing it. But what about the propulsion mechanisms of life itself? What benefit does ‘it’ receive? Why is there a drive for life in this world, and why is it that this drive is programmed into us? The molecular DNA and the cells that are programmed to generate life, what benefit is it to them? Are they slaves? They are in existence themselves so do they also feel this joy and sadness? This gain and loss? Most likely not. But what is amazing is that life is precious and worth pursuing even to those species where the cost of living is not only to a host but to its own self. Certain viruses and parasites continue living at the expense of the host; if they are lucky they leave the host before it dies (in the case of parasites) yet viruses continue living and spreading, while killing off the host that gave them life. In effect, they end their own lives but spread life itself. Why? Isn’t life only worth the experiences of the self, or is there something beyond? Is life such a gift that one’s own passing from it is negligible to the greater cause of spreading life itself, even if it means the end of its own? Life must continue though lives themselves don’t. A colony of bugs will have the wounded, weak, and the dead while the others work to move them away from the eyes of would-be predators and save the colony; though many die the colony continues to live. Cancer lives by converting normal cells into cancer cells but what happens in the process is the path to its own demise as the result of the flaw of its own design, and still, it must survive. The cancer cells themselves die, but Cancer (the disease) continues to live. Life is a stream of consciousness, where contributors are added and subtracted at every moment, but the stream itself must go on.

So what is life? A religious dogmatic response would explain the whole enigma as the giving of a higher Power who seeks to spread life. A scientific response would explain how it works but not the question of why? Why the drive? To what end is the function of life? “Passing on one’s DNA” does not explain why its so necessary as to explain why all living things prefer to be alive rather than dead. So even if we take this answer of “passing on life” we are left in the same place, with the same question – why must life go on when lives themselves come to an end? Is life just a gift that keeps spreading or giving itself? The same can be said about death, as death is spreading and death must go on as well. So are the two in competition for existent beings and existence? It seems that death too is fighting for life. And with the drama of life and death competing to exist, there is mention of an afterlife – a post-death life. If this belief is true then death is not death at all, for the threat of non-existence does not exist. In fact, non-existence does not exist, so existence or life is resistance to not-exist. But theoretically, nothing really doesn’t exist – everything that is, is. That which is not existing, exists in some way as a thought or idea. This would take us to the idea that non-existence in fact, is not real, even if we take death to be the final resting – it is a state of existing/being nontheless (albeit it non-living.) This would give us a definition of life and some motivation as to why life must go on (because it cannot not exist) but still doesn’t explain why non-existence is something to be dreaded when it, in fact, doesn’t exist. In other words, life can never die entirely. Religion and philosophy have a simple explanation for this, and that is that life or being is actually necessary upon the Necessarily Existent, or reality itself; otherwise known as “God.” Since God cannot not exist, He would be the Necessarily Existent reality upon which all realities and existence depends. Being itself, is God’s quiddity. Life then, would seem to press forward for this reason because there is no other alternative to it, being that Being itself is a necessity and that non-being is not a reality. In some state or fashion everything, even nothing, exists. Since there is no non-existence, life, death, and all they contain compete for being though they cannot not be, they only fight for the state of the moment in the cycle of being (i.e- lives of the existent things.) Life must go on but lives themselves don’t. This question for me, has now been resolved.

Update-Q4-11 - Shawn's Egocosmology 2009-2011

2011-10-16T03:54:00.002-04:00

So I've reached the decision that I will be discontinuing my other blog, Shawn's Egocosmology. The reasons for this are mostly for organizational purposes but also because I just don't update that one enough. Traffic to the site had been waning for some time and frankly my intent and directions have changed since I first started it. Originally its purpose was to be a place for my anecdotal pieces; more personal and reflective in nature. Now, as I said in my 2nd post ever on this site (http://prisoner786.blogspot.com/2008/10/sky-is-limit.html)

you can look forward to that kind of stuff here - all on one page! I may be adding other categories to my posts to reflect this change and to keep things fresh here. Be on the look out for TMI posts from yours truly in the future...well, if you're into that sort of thing.... :o For those who actually read the other blog, no worries, I will be exporting all whopping 13 entries (lol) here, so those who had followed it (and those who didn't) won't be missing a thing. In the coming days I'll be posting up the content from that blog here so stay-tuned kiddies. Thank you for all who supported and visited the site. Now, I'll be busy seeing off an old friend...it's been fun Wordpress. To God we belong and to Him we shall return.

~**Shawn's Egocosmology**~

2009-2011

http://ruhudeen.wordpress.com/

Everyday

2011-10-15T07:01:00.004-04:00

By Ruhudeen Ali

October 15th, 2011

It's the thirteenth hour in the hermit's lair

I raise my sleepy head

I eat what gluttony has time to prepare

In view are these swaying trees and starry nights.

The sleepy bird gets no worm, just more sleep.

Business in the marketplace, first thing

You see, my industry is entertainment

Story-telling and errands by day

Dreams and pastimes by night

Forgotten by the morning.

Constantly on the stay, I slowly catch hedonism's headlines

In my embroidered sheets and decorated bed

Tired, I read the hollow pages

"Now then, how many nothings happened today?"

Relationships just get in the way
I understand, you see, I'm a busy man myself
Who has time for romance when there's lust?
See here my important matters, see how consumed I am
and yet see what is missing.

In the womb, kicking with resting
In the world, patience with comforts
In the after-world, questioning with anxiety
And more resting.

Therefore, do not make my tombstone tall
Nor trouble yourselves over eulogies
My junction with time is brief
My life of sub-stance, null.

Just do me one favor, if you will

When it’s my time

Let it be known that I toiled and struggled hard.

*Note - My apologies for the ugly-spacing but for some reason I can't undo these errors without a great deal of annoyance. Please bare with it, thank you.

How To Destroy Angels

2011-10-11T16:13:00.000-04:00

Well this is a track [below] from Trent Reznor's new band formed last year, "How To Destroy Angels." The band consists of Trent and his wife Mariqueen Maandig (formerly of band West Indian Girl) and Atticus Ross (who worked with Trent on The Social Network film's soundtrack.) Their first collected work is a six-track EP made available for free download on their website:

http://howtodestroyangels.com/

This track in particular had the most Nine Inch Nail-ish sound to it, in my opinion (a good thing,) while the rest were alright (similar in style to Trent's later work in NIN.) Though I wasn't blown-away by anything on this EP, I have to admit I am looking forward to new material from Trent and the addition of a female lead may make things interesting. I also want to see if his musical style will change now that he's supposedly happy with his wife and kid. Let's see where this goes.Cool album cover:

"The Fall of Freddie The Leaf" by Leo Buscaglia

2011-10-07T02:36:00.001-04:00

We watched this short-film on the last day of our graduate class on grief, loss, and bereavement. Originally intended for children but anyone can take something away from this.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai X) - Trust & Betrayal OST - Kotowari

2011-08-31T02:33:00.000-04:00

An Update & Apology

2011-08-13T06:53:00.011-04:00

Hi everyone, Prisoner here. First, I want to apologize to those on my personal contacts list for my old Yahoo! account. I recently learned its been hacked and many of you have received spam from the account. No, I'm not trying to sell you products or improve your sex life or show you a new way to make money online, just so you know. I hardly ever use that account anymore but I did change the password so hopefully no more spam for you all. Yay.

Second, I just finished a week long intensive course on bereavement counseling for loss & grief. If I get the chance I would like to share some of my insights with you all on the many things I learned from the class. It was particularly hard for me since mom died and going to class brought back a lot of the initial anxiety and uncertainty that was felt in those months following. Its true, life is only considered precious if we remember death just as much as we focus on life. My thoughts on all this, soon to come iA. :)

Third, its the 2nd week of Ramadan and fasting is not as difficult as one would expect. We are in the 2nd 3rd of the month, which means these days are for forgiveness (hey I guess apologizing for the spam fits in right?) I've fallen behind on my Quran a bit this week but I intend to catch up iA and by the way, the iQuran app - amazing. May Allah bless the app-maker(s) and may He forgive us all this month, ameen. Some friends and I are partaking in a fun 'Quran race' competition this month, the one who reads the most will receive a prize at the end (though I most likely will not be among the finalists, I will decline my prize in-advance if I am.) Will I finish the Quran this month? It's about 16 days too soon to say! ;-P Insha'Allah (God-willing) ::engines reving:: Here. We. Go!

* A note on Somalia - During this month of generosity, please think about the suffering that is going on over there, they are facing intense famine and drought and men, women, and children are dying by the thousands. Please make dua for them and better yet, donate to charities that are working on the ground and providing relief. What will we say to God on the Day of Judgment if we do not help? If we break our own fasts and not theirs?

Fourth, when I'm tired from all else, I like to pick up my Rurouni Kenshin manga, (of which I'm delighted to say, I have now acquired in full) and read the full original story for the first time. So far, I've read the entire 'Legend of Kyoto' Arc and am currently midway "Jinchuu" Arc. Since my volumes 1 & 2 VizBig editions just arrived I will be reading the "Tales from the Meiji" arc (aka Season 1) last. I will say that it is definitely awesome, as great as the TV series if not more. All-in-all I enjoy both equally and prefer some elements of the manga to the TV series and vice-versa. I was soooo going to post an awesome philosophical piece on the differences between the world-views of Kenshin & Shishio, but then Ramadan came and redirected my attention elsewhere. Maybe when I have the time and motivation I will get to it. Also, I find it interesting how reading Kenshin has coincided with my bereavement class. Kenshin's philosophy (of life being the strongest motivation to endure) fits in nicely with the same lessons I learned in class. Anyways, in other Kenshin news, I am uber excited about the new series Watsuki-san is rumored to be working on (actually its not a rumor) and its my hope, along with the hopes of many fans that he produces the Jinchuu arc for TV. Even though we get it in piecemeal via the "Trust & Betrayal" and "Reminiscence" OVAs, it would still be nice to see it in its entirety all-together. Either that or a story revolving around the 10 years of wandering Kenshin did following the end of the Bakumatsu (prior to meeting up with the RuroKen cast.) OR(o) if neither of these is in the works, it would be great to have another spin off series like "Yahiko no Sakabato," perhaps one revolving around Himura Kenji?? (O'kudasai Watsuki-san! ::wink wink::) I'm also excited about the live-action film expected to be released sometime soon. The world of Kenshin will remain "so long as this one wields this sakabato."

^_^

P.S- Shop at the Borders bookstore ASAP before it shuts down! Some really good deals, and let's all build up our libraries and be erudite future awesomers! Also, in-case you were wondering, no - the title "Prisoner786" has absolutely NOTHING to do with the film 'VeerZara' (God no, but I'm sure I've already commented on this before) and yes, the Elric brothers atop are making dua. :)

Lost in Prostration

2011-07-22T00:19:00.001-04:00

"Lost In Prostration"

By Ruhudeen Ali

February 25, 2011

Standing in prayer with a blank mind

raising my hands to proclaim its time

for salah done five times more or less

maintained only by the best

the most pious steady prayin during riots

or stayin up in 5-star Hyatts it don't matter

the shaytan they gon' shatter

some wander off into fiction like the Mad-hatter

or eating chicken & rice platters on 53rd & 6th

prayin for their fix, others prayin for kicks

whether on point or off in wonderland

you can't judge the other man

cuz we're all lost in prostration

lost in translation over frustrations on the mind

speakin holy words but actin like mimes

not really comprehending the lines

spoken five times more or less

God bless the learned and the clueless

Lost in prostration

lost in communication with the Most-High

the land of the suffering is where the most die

pray for em cuz you can't spare a dime

sometimes you don't give a damn

cuz you don't live in their land

a place where freedom is banned

jailed for raisin your hand

but right now its time for salah

back to remembering Allah

humbling yourself, finding that moment

a connection in time when you're frozen

on a believer's miraj like The Chosen

Al-Mustafa (saw) feelin golden

'Catcher in the Rye' like Holden

shaytan emboldens thoughts better hold 'em
cuz you're standin in front of the Throne dun
and at the end say salam to your angels
only to go back to being strangers
til you're back in danger seeking salvation
kneeling again seeking reparations
back to being lost in prostration, in the contemplation
conveyed five times more or less
spoken by the righteous
God bless the learned and the clueless.

Blog humbug?

2011-07-21T01:50:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone, Prisoner here. So I'm writing to you because I realized that my last several posts have all been music posts with no verbal content. That was actually an experiment of mine where I was trying to communicate entirely through music..(I guess it didnt go as well as I thought it would lol.) Anyway, I'm writing to you because I want you all to know I haven't dropped off the planet, but I've spent my energies elsewhere. I plan to update my blog more frequently now while I have the time, so please continue visiting & checking up on the site.
And while on the subject of blogs, I would like all of you to check out a new blog hosted by a very dear friend of mine who goes by the online moniker "WrenDaWise." Check it out here:

http://www.wrendawise.blogspot.com

Thank you to my fans/followers. Stay-tuned for more goodies soon to come. <3

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood OST- Lullaby of Resembool

2011-07-05T01:14:00.000-04:00

Allama Iqbal - Kabhi ae Haqiqat-e-Muntazir (Sung by Abrar ul-Haq)

2011-06-17T03:33:00.000-04:00

The King of Fighters '96 OST - Arashi no Saxophone (II)

2011-05-28T01:37:00.001-04:00

I want to play the new King of Fighters XIII. Le sigh....One of my fav. tracks from KOF '96. Iori is a beast! Best theme music ever.

Craig David - Let Her Go

2011-05-25T18:30:00.000-04:00

Craig sang this song about his grandmother but it applies to anyone you love who you've lost in life. I love you mom, miss you so much. Not sure I will ever be ready to "let her go...."

Eikichi Yazawa - Loser

2011-05-11T02:43:00.000-04:00

Love's Irony

2011-05-06T03:33:00.007-04:00

Love's Irony
By Ruhudeen Ali
May 6th, 2011

For the garden to grow flowers and for love to succeed, you need to put in work and put aside your greed. Careless gardeners grow weeds aplenty, unceasing like an animal's needs.

The tragedy of the world is much less that there is scanty, costly love, flings and one-night stands all about; rather more that there is free, ample, and pure love- distant, star-crossed and ill-fated- waiting, patiently awaiting and unnoticed; yet doomed to ne'er bloom. That is the real tragedy.

And the beloved is far off in distant lands

escorted by someone else's hand

while mine escorts the hand of time

knowing she will be fine

while I am left in loneliness sublime

The heart does not envy the gold and coin

that can buy a lover's loins

but it weeps that it built a home

for one who ne'er visits and continues to roam

looking far and near
everywhere else but here.

al-Futuhat al-Madaniyya

2011-04-30T18:47:00.001-04:00

Verily all praise is due to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, Lord of the worlds, for having taken His servant from these lands to the Noble Sanctuaries. And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah and Muhammad, salAllahu 'alayhi was-sallam, is His servant and final Messenger. I've been thinking for some time to write down my experiences traveling to the holy land and my time in the holy cities but never got around to doing it until now. Part of the reason initially was due to illness. May Allah grant me healing and protection (ameen.)

On to the matter, I chose the name "Medinan Openings" intentionally for the blessings associated with the title (for those of you who know what it is modeled after, [only at least in name to be clear.]) The truth is though, that since my journey in the holy land actually did begin with Medina, it is from here I will recall my reflections of the trip. Astagfirullahul 'Adheem. My time spent in Medina was mostly of mild worship, as I was recovering from jet-lag and other sickness. However, the time that I spent there (4 days) I felt preoccupied with my own nafs - not my lowly desires - but rather the disgusting nature of the nafs in general. At times I felt like I didn't belong there because of the purity of those I saw around me. I felt shame and guilt, being in the Prophet's Mosque and having no dignity to show.

SubhanAllah, one of the realities of the holy cities is that there you will always find somebody better than you. My father and I prayed our first prayer at fajr time and my father was complaining about his back. Unbeknownst to us was a man standing in prayer next to us who could barely move or walk on his own yet completed his prayer like all the others. Next we saw a blind man exiting the mosque and I was suddenly made aware of the reality of that place; whatever your complaint may be, there is someone better who bears it more patiently than you. That was one of my first lessons there and subhanAllah, immediately as we arrived too. After we took some rest for several hours we went back for Dhuhr prayer, my father and I thanked God for having brought us there and prayed for my mother (may Allah forgive her and grant her peace in her grave) who could not join us as we had planned. We then took a casual stroll around the mosque from the inside which was so sheer in size that we were blown away. Unknowingly at the time, we walked passed the Rawdah al Jannah/Riyaz ul-Jannah and noticed the increased amount of people there. We suspected we were near the Prophet's (saw) original house but didn't know we were close to his burial grounds. As we walked passed, we saw a line of men paying their respects and suddenly I knew where I was and felt ashamed that I didn't come prepared to give my salam to the Prophet (saw). I made a casual salam and dua and we left. Afterwards I felt like one of those sahaba who didn't recognize the Prophet (saw) when they first met him, only to realize who he was later. After that event I felt ashamed of myself for not having known and felt a sense of sadness the rest of the time I was there. I realized earlier that everything happens for a reason and by way of invitation, and spiritual lessons are made more apparent in these cities for a reason. I knew that everything I did, was because of an invitation, and I was invited by the Lord to greet my Prophet and I didn't recognize him when I should have. Others there came fully prepared, dressed in their best clothes and scents, their best words and deeds, and there I stood with nothing but lame stupor. Indeed I was the lamest one there. The next time I went to say salam to the Prophet (saw) I wanted to go prepared so I waited until tahajjad time, his favorite time with His Lord, to greet him. We offered 2 rakaats inside the Rawdah al Jannah and made dua. I began to hear wailing, grown men crying like children, offering what they could for their beloved. We then left and my feelings of ineptitude were temporarily abated.

It's not clear to me when I encountered my first beggar in Medina but it was a daily occurrence. One thing I noticed is that I didn't see the beggars approaching anybody else, it seemed like it was only me. Every day I'd go out and at least one beggar would approach me, I didn't like turning them down so I would usually give them some money. I lost count of how many beggars approached me during my stay but I only turned down a handful in total. In any case, the beggars put me in an awkward position - they forced me to have pity on them but subhanAllah, something told me that it was not correct to have pity on anybody here but my own self. Afterall, no matter what their condition was, these were people invited to live in the holy cities and who was I to have pity on them? Where was I coming from? Who was I to be giving pity than receiving it? One day, I was coming back from the masjid and I was approached by three beggars one after the other. One brother took a photograph of me with him and suddenly it dawned on me that these people must think I'm a rich Saudi or government official (by the way I was dressed.) I began to dress normally and still I was being approached, and that's when I took it as a spiritual sign. The haramain do not accept sadaqa (charity) from the people but the people themselves accept sadaqa so I realized this was one of the best ways to give charity, then I was put at ease and gave happily whenever I was approached. I knew that I should be the one to give because what I gave I was really getting back in the Hereafter.

When we left Medina for Mecca, I was amazed at how beautiful the mountainous landscapes were to the left and to the right; it really felt like we were in another world. I can't imagine people walking the entire distance (i.e-hijra) what took us four hours to drive, (and that's a straight line,) and dealing with the open desert heat/elements- just incredible! We got to meeqat and changed into ihram and made our way to the Grand Mosque in Mecca. One of the interesting things I noticed about being in ihram was that I was (or at least felt like I was) almost naked. For men, ihram is just two giant towels you wrap around yourself and that's literally it. Everything is covered but boy does the wind blow over there and God help you if you didn't wrap that waist-cloth up tight! Anyway, so it struck me that I was going on one of the holiest journeys of my life and yet I was technically the most under-dressed I've ever been compared to any other mosque (usually you over-dress for modesty in mosques.) I felt almost naked yet I was going to the holiest mosque, and I suppose that is the point since ihram is meant to represent the funeral shroud we will all be in on the Day of Resurrection. We will all look like poor destitute pilgrims, all standing equal before God, awaiting His mercy God-willing. When we got inside the Grand Mosque and were making our way toward the Ka'aba, I remember what I was told about the first glance and the power of supplication at that time. My first sight of the Ka'aba I fell into a stupor again, I didn't know what to do or say but I just made a good general prayer, whatever words came to my lips, may Allah accept it, ameen. Another thing I noticed about the Ka'aba during tawaf was that it accomplished its exact purpose - it brought all kinds of people from all over the world together, shoulder-to-shoulder, men, women, and children, young and elderly, worshipping God together - it's not a feeling easily describable through words, you just have to be there. It really does feel like a sanctuary of peace and love and you feel this magic in the air around you, its amazing.

Altogether we stayed in Mecca for 5 nights. We did a second umrah on my deceased mother's behalf and nafal tawaf as well along with other ibadah. In Mecca I learned that logic doesn't always apply. If you think something happened because of certain logical cause-and-effect relationships, you will be proven wrong at times. For example, you can eat something questionable and be just fine or eat the safest thing in the world and develop a stomach virus from it. You can rest all day and still feel exhausted or take a short nap and be completely energized. In other words, reality isn't what it appears to be. This lesson becomes even more apparent in the holy cities. The reason is because the spiritual reality of that place is greater than its worldly reality (i.e- its more apparent.) So instead of cause-and-effect logic guiding my decisions, I used a faith-logic based on the spiritual truth: la hawla wa la quwwata illa billahul 'adheem ("there is no might nor power except by Allah the Supreme.") When I did that, I felt like logic was restored and things were working the way I had expected them to because I got to the root of the matter- what I came to trust in cause-and-effect is really God's power in keeping the rule but since He makes the laws of physics He can bend them too.

There were many other observations and reflections I had while over there but it would make this post even longer so, suffice it to say that you never know what to expect until you're there. The expectations I had were different from the reality I experienced there but nothing less of what I had hoped. We left the US a bit nervous, thinking we might get stuck in turbulent times with protests brewing in the Arab world but once there we experienced 10 days of peace, serenity, and tranquility like I had never experienced before. It was only when we were preparing to head back that I was reminded about all the chaos stirring around in the world. It's my hope that I get to go back one day, if I am invited back that is, inshaAllah. And all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.

Dido - It Comes And It Goes

2011-04-18T21:39:00.000-04:00

Neon Genesis Evangelion OST - Rei I

2011-04-07T02:11:00.000-04:00

Road of Truth

2011-04-04T11:53:00.003-04:00

Road of Truth

By Ruhudeen Ali

April 4th, 2011

Your truth is the road you know

even though the signs have lied to you

You've traveled it so many times

and those who don't know write the signs

Don't waste your attention on their attempts to explain

the bumps and cracks you feel as your pain

In vain they will predict your track

but your feet are what truly define the course, in fact

Signs only give solace to those who have never ventured

beyond their comfort and gone to the barren desert

It is easier to look outward at the beauty

than it is to look inward at the ugly

So travel your road of truth

your emotions as your forecast

Storms, precipitations, gusts and snow

all places that the mind already knows

Perhaps cloudy skies, sunshine and chirping birds

perhaps unfulfilled desires and false words

Melancholy, tears, frustrations, and apathy

this trek was not meant to be accompanied

But don't take me as your guide

discover your own way, so I will not have lied

For our atlas is the mapping of our experience

we keep on walking regardless, with perseverance

So I walk my road of truth alone

and where I collapse is my home.

So Much Trouble in the World...

2011-03-07T02:05:00.000-05:00

Mohamed Bouazizi (RIP) really set the Middle East (and the world) ablaze when he lit himself on fire in rage against all the injustice he faced in his life; ultimately dying from his wounds. It's as if his life's story mirrored the average Middle Eastern Arab living under a despotic regime where it was common to have their voices unheard or neglected. His sacrificial act became the ignition for revolutions in Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya with protests occurring in a dozen countries, each trying to bring about change from the bottom-up. Currently uprisings in Algeria, Bahrain, Yemen, and Libya are taking news headlines but the situation in Libya in particular is most alarming. Col. Muammar Gaddafi and sons have waged a war against their own people, effectively telling the world and the Libyan people that their position in power is more important than anything to them. How these people can consider themselves public servants is beyond me, but then again -more often than not- rulers have trashed the noble ideal of public service for purely self-gain at the cost of their peoples' prosperity.

What I find most alarming is that these dictators think that if they just take out a few tanks, and deploy some air bombers and raid masses of innocent, peaceful demonstrators everything will be fine and go back to normal, right? Wrong. If anything has been shown through these demonstrations is that once the state uses violence to quell resistance, more people show up in protest and it now becomes an uprising, and when more are killed, jailed, and beat it turns into a revolution and as Malcolm X once said, revolutions are never without blood.

I am hopeful for change in the Middle East. I would like to see new democracies with governments by the people and for the people taking root over there because I believe this is the best thing for both the people there and Americans (& Israelis) since freedom is the core ingredient to a society's prosperity. In fact, one of the contributing factors of the rise of terrorism has been precisely because people didn't have their freedoms to assemble and express dissent in many of these countries. That doesn't make it right -- but it doesn't help it either. My fear is that the powers-that-be would rather drag out the situation in Libya so that this rapid gust of change finally dwindles down and stops spreading these flames of oppressed rage. If you think about it, 2-3 dictators over the course of two months is extremely fast and all this change is not good for the status quo (or rather for the people who benefit from it) so they will play up the 'stability' card and say this is not good for the region. This is exactly what we're seeing as tanks and airplanes shoot and bomb masses of innocent Libyans and the death toll rises well above 1,000, the world mostly sits back and watches, making the token idle threat to Gaddafi every now and then. Afterall, who wants their government to be next, right?

In any case, I sincerely hope the people get what they want and evil dictators meet the justice they deserve and a new understanding and perception of the Middle East is born out of this; one that helps Westerners see that freedom is everyone's right and not something only we "can handle" or the ridiculous notion that the Arabs "hate" our freedoms here when they're literally fighting and dying for it as I type these very words. Freedom is not a Western or Eastern concept, it is a human concept and right, and only when societies have free rights can they make healthy and responsible choices. I hope the world begins to realize this for the sake of one of the world's most oppressed peoples (i.e- the Palestinians) and an act of God brings much needed reform to that region and elsewhere in the world. If the Egyptian revolution proved anything, it proved that every media stereotype about Arabs being disunited, enraged, disorganized, and hateful was utterly a lie, and that the commoner and well-to-do, the majority and minority, the religious and secular, men and women - all can get together to affect change and be civil, and even clean up after themselves! So I hope the world can see that Muslims are peaceful and freedom loving people too, just like the rest of the world. Down with evil despots and viva people power!

Liberation's Dare

2011-02-11T15:50:00.003-05:00

"Liberation's Dare"

By Ruhudeen Ali

2/11/11

After 30 years of rule a voice grew inside you

Reminding you that you’re not a fool

Depression began to rise

For the oppression they would hide

Some protests came and went

And though they were suppressed

Their will was never bent

Jailed, abused, and beat

They never accepted defeat

When asked about their feats

They’d yell “freedom we seek!”

“For Egypt we bleed,

We are all Khaled Said!”

And the youths’ motherboards

Attracted other hordes

“Rebellion,” the regime would say

"Voices that didn’t matter anyway"

By uniting they did dismay

All those who said ‘Nay!”

Muslim, Christian, men and women

Protecting each other focused on winning

And by the martyrs' blood

We saw the color was one

The call for more to join came from above

Camped out, they’d shout in Liberation Square

Giving a liberation scare to dictators everywhere

And the pressure grew to oust him out

It was now a revolution when before, there was doubt

The wail of Wael aided the ship to set sail

Their voices united, they had to prevail

No compromise on their goals no matter the toll

Teaching the world the dignity of the courageous and bold

And the oppression of the people forgotten by amnesia

Was recalled to us by the brave youth of Tunisia

And uprisings began to spread abroad

What better justice than to stop a fraud?

What better joy than to hear the masses’ applaud?

Freedom was your right since you were born

Without it, its no wonder you were torn

Together let’s join in celebration, prayer, and deed

To remind the world everyone deserves to be free!

The Freakin Man...?

2011-02-08T01:29:00.000-05:00

I have on occasion been called "the freakin' man." But what I wish to clear up is that this allegation is not at all true. First of all, if anything, I'd be a freakin' man and not the freakin' man since there are over six billion people on this planet; I am only one among multitudes of 'freakin' [the adjective] people. Secondly, "freakin" is a euphemism for f#!@ing [the verb oft-used in profanity] and I am a virgin, alhamdulillah, so this is not true. I am however, able to freak (so-to-speak) [alhamdulillah] so I am not afreakin in the sense that a living organism can be asexual; that is to say "without freaking" (if that makes any sense.) That is to say, I do not reproduce with myself. In other words, I am freak-able (...um, yea.) However, I am not able to freak just yet (see below.) I am also not Afreekan (African) for you Urdu speakers.

I am simply, a man. A single man- that is what I am. I am not plural, I am in the singular and I happen to also be single, (not being redundant.) What I mean is, I'm available for a relationship where I can be "freakin" [the verb] provided its halal [i.e-marriage.]) So the truth of the matter is, it is conditional upon taking a wife whereby I can be eligible to be a freakin man. IF I can do that well enough (just being rational here,) I may be promoted to the freakin man, but then again, how would she know? Is she comparing me to someone or others before me? In that case, I'd consider the possibility of divorce and go back to being just a plain man, possibly an old one (God forbid.) Unless of course, she did tawba of any past mistakes of zina and we loved each other, for no one is perfect and we all have our own baggage of sins, myself included. In anycase, to be the freakin [verb] man, I'd need to have multiple partners (which is not happening) and in Paradise, though it sounds nice, is probably not my aim once I get there - if I even get there in the first place. There is always the possibility that I could remarry or have multiple wives but this too is uncertain and especially in the case of the latter, unlikely.

So you see, to be the freakin man, I'd either have to be a wild playboy in this life or do so in Hell, which is probably -scratch that- certainly not happening, which only leaves this life to decide whether or not it is true. I've already shown that unless I have multiple partners for freakin, (in the event of remarriages) I can only be a freakin not the freakin man. But to be honest, I do not want to be given such a title anyway, since I'd rather not have the subject of sex be attached to my name. I came from the dirt and I will be buried in the dirt, and that is a dry place - no room for anything hot n' steamy (although technically I suppose it can get hot in the summer-time.) Anyways, like I was saying, I am not the freakin man neither am I a freakin man - I am only a man that will one day return to the sands. Therefore, I must be a simple man; pious, loving, caring, responsible, moral, giving very freakin [adjective] much if I am ever to be the freakin man. If that is what makes me the freakin [adj.] man, than I would be very glad, and its okay to call me so. However, I still say that my friends are very confused for insinuating this allegation :P.

Maaya Sakamoto - Kiseki no Umi (Sea of Miracles)

2011-02-04T17:47:00.002-05:00

Jamiroquai - That's Not The Funk I Want

2011-01-06T16:07:00.000-05:00

Artistry's Disparity

2010-12-27T03:19:00.006-05:00

Artistry's Disparity
By Ruhudeen Ali
December 26th, 2010

My work magnifies me
His work obscures Him

Yet my work reveals flaws that trace back to me
While His work displays the perfection of divinity

Marveling at my artwork, some will praise me
Marveling at His artwork, the fools only praise the artistry

What my hands craft reminds them of me
What His Hands craft they will fancy as deities!

The fault is not in the admirer nor lies in the maker
for the artistry's disparity is that much greater!

So petty am I that my hand must aggrandize me
So great is He that His Hand screens His majesty

What pleasure is there in magnifying the scanty?
What splendor therein by veiling the magnificent!

His work is not mine, but my work is His
Whatever the artist renders - His signature lies in this

My fame is nothing, be it before the cameras
His fame is far-reaching even behind the curtain

He is the true Artist that taught us all the trade
In truth, the work and fame is His all the same

His Name be praised! الله سبحانه وتعالى‎

In Memory's Wait

2010-12-10T06:10:00.026-05:00

"In Memory's Wait"
By Ruhudeen Ali
Nov. 21st, 2010

In this lonely hour I sit here with nothing to do

my five senses wait on standby for an hour or two

My sighing breath's shadow dances to entertain me
but the shadow gives up and expires, while I sit impatiently

Awaiting some happening that reminds me I'm alive
I sit motionless unable to cry or to even try

I get wind of the noises in the night with lazy ears
but shut out the love ballads by the creatures that I hear

I glance at the floor and see bugs scurry along in cheer
rather ignoring their warm, welcoming families awaiting near

I look up to the stars and watch them twinkle and glisten
but I know they've all plotted to smite me at a distance

These tears welling-up scream of someone they miss
this separation was emphatically against my wish

In this lonely night, all I can do is sit and remember you
powerless to have changed fate to some other in lieu

When I go to your room and see your belongings
my longing to see you only continues prolonging

And when I come to visit your final resting place

I feel the void in knowing nothing can replace your embrace

Everywhere I go, something of you dwells

I remember our moments together and the tears begin to swell

The words you spoke, your gentle nature,

how special you were - what good to realize it all later!

But like a beautiful flower you did blossom, you did bloom

whichever hour you had to depart, it would have been too soon

Now I've entered a new world, alone in this gloom
colder, darker, unbearable, unlike your womb

Yesterday's sun has set and regrets have been laid to rest
but I must now be committed to living my very best

And as tough as it may be, I'm obliged to see your mission through
that I must live my life happily, since I'm only here because of you

Sadness and sorrow were tremendous follies
but I must seek a future without the shadows of melancholy

Perhaps dawn will scatter the scent of freshly-cut lawn
in this dream of life, who knows the next scene we'll be upon?

So I live with faith, that some day I will be with you again

picking up where we left off - not only as mother and son,

but as two long lost friends....

Until then, our memory waits.

I love you mom.

I miss you....

You are always in my heart.
❤

Genso Suikoden - Theme of Sadness (orchestral)

2010-12-07T22:21:00.000-05:00

The Loss of My Mother

2010-11-22T02:54:00.000-05:00

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un “To God we belong and to Him we return.”

Friday, October 8th 2010, was the hardest day of my life. My mother passed away in the hospital ICU after four days of suffering from illness contracted by an immuno-compromised state. She had been struggling with illness for six long years but she remained a fighter til the very end. All the things I’ve realized and seen in these past few days since her passing has led me to conclude that – aside from what I already knew- my mother was a very special person (mashaAllah *as God wills.*) The overwhelming amount of love, support, prayers from family, friends, the community, and even strangers has touched my family beyond words. The signs we have seen since have strengthened my faith and increased our assurance that, God-willing, our mom is in the highest Paradise. The last few years of her life were filled with great trials and suffering and she is now in peace. Serving my mom during her most difficult years was the greatest honor of my life and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant she didn’t have to suffer through it all.

I just want to say thank you and give my heartfelt gratitude to all those family and friends who stood by her side all these years, who were involved with her life and care, and who were inspired by her story. I am sincerely grateful for all of your support over the years and the touching comments you’ve all left me, and will take the next several weeks to respond to each of you and give you your due time, we owe you at least that much. May God bless all of you and please continue to pray for her and for our family and the future that lies ahead of us. Wal al-akhiratu khayrun laka minal ulaa “and the hereafter is better for you than what came before.” [93:4]

Thank you for all your love. You were all there for me and my family during the hardest times and stuck by our side, God bless you all for that (ameen!) Losing my mom was the biggest personal & collective loss for myself and my family. I had experienced the death of relatives and loved ones before, but never this close, never this personal. During someone else’s loss, I would feel sad for a bit, and be among those praying for them and their loved ones. This time however, people were praying for us and our dearly departed and it felt so different. There are many lessons I’ve learned in these past five weeks but it would take too long to write them all down here. For starters, you never know what you’ve got til its gone. Although I realize now what (at the time were projected feelings in the future,) that I’d look back at the time spent caring for mom and smile, I still yet had not known what that truly was to feel like until now. I have my days and moments where I am sad, and yet other times where I’m fine and well. Yet reflecting over it all, I don’t know what I’m really supposed to feel. I realize grieving has its stages and that our family has grieved constructively for the most part, but then there are times where I want to be sad, I want to dwell over her loss and let it sink in really deep, in a way that hurts – but something stops me. Whenever that happens, I feel prohibited from doing so; I feel like her spirit is stopping this, and that she would want us to stop suffering, to stop being sad and to continue living – living well, being happy and prosperous, hopeful and grateful. It’s like all the things she would have wanted, that is what I must do and that is how I must live my life, God-willing. Candid as I may be at times, I never spoke openly about how rough these years have been on me personally and I was not healthy during this time. I feel like all that must change now. Ironically, it took the loss of my mother to help me realize right from wrong – the right way to live and think, and to bury the self-defeating/self-deprecating old ways that became an integral part of who I was. No more– If I am indeed my mother’s son, and her living legacy, then I must be courageous and brave as she was to face life directly; to not turn away or cower over trials and difficulties. She was a lion in the face of adversity and I must emulate that spirit if I am to learn and gain anything from life. She was my role-model, afterall.

One thing my mother taught me early on, was that one’s character was in their own hands to fashion. She always taught me and my siblings that wherever you go in life, if you take with you your values and your character you’ll never forget who you are. Over the course of the past many years of my life, I was beginning to forget who I was because who I was had never really been properly defined. I don’t say I was “losing myself” in the conventional sense that most people take it to mean but rather that my values and character had been expanding and shifting so as to make it difficult to say I was one thing over another. “Amorphous” is how I like to describe it. So if my values and character were not defined, how was I to ever know who I was? Well, it turns out that I was wrong. I do have clear values I abide by and I do have a character that I am known by. Even though for years I always figured people never really knew me, or that I was always misunderstood, I think now that the more I claim to be misunderstood the less I will know anything about my true self and the more I will adhere to a false self-concept. The question of “who I am” is partly decided by me and partly decided by all of you. I am truly honored and blessed to have such loving, caring, and supportive friends and family in my life who have always over-valued and over-estimated me to the point where I would be left to question you and myself all over again; “am I really what they say?” I know I am nobody special, but the way you all make me feel I cannot ever repay and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. There is a saying in my faith, “showing gratitude to the people is showing gratitude to God,” this is my intention here, and I am in your debt. I pray that in my life ahead, I am increased in good deeds, improve my manners, and that I become better than I was to earn my parents more credit (ameen.) Being appreciative and thankful is something my mother instilled in me since I was little. She was my teacher, afterall.

Lastly, I say a word to my family and friends who are still blessed with the company of your mothers (and fathers too.) No matter what type of relationship you may have with them – enmeshed or estranged – cherish the time you spend with them, because one day you will miss their company painfully when they are gone. Humble your ego and pride before them because they played an essential role in helping you develop that pride. Care for them when you have the chance as they cared for you when they had no time for anything else except you. Give them company, become their friend like you would someone who supports and appreciates you because nobody appreciates you more than your parents. In short, realize your tremendous debt to them and try to seek their forbearance because in truth, their kindness and grace toward you blinds you from the responsibilities, obligations and contract binding upon you to help them. Granted, none of us are perfect and neither are our relationships with our parents, but all we’re asked to do is try to give our best. As with God, so too do we owe a debt we cannot repay to our parents, even if they put us through torment or gave us constant joy – their act of bringing us to enjoy life and teaching us the first experiences of things we’ve learned to love and hate in life are all worth noting, and appreciating in their own right let alone the care that came along the journey til now. I know I made the right choice by taking off from school and devoting my life to caring for my mom in her final years, I know that brought her happiness and brings me happiness, but I also know that I didn’t do enough nor could I have ever done enough. And if she were here today, I would be the happiest son in the world just to do one more thing she asked me to do for her…she was my mother afterall, and I will always love and miss her until I see her again, God-willing. Thank you all again for your loving support and private messages. We could not have endured this time as well as we have without your presence. I am honored to have you in my life.
Love,
-Ruhudeen Ali

“Death is nothing at all…I have only slipped away into the next room…I am I and you are you…whatever we were to each other that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone; wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effect, without the ghost of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is absolutely unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near just around the corner…All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!”

-Canon Henry Scott-Holland

“Death, be not proud, though some have callèd thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so:

For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death; nor yet canst thou kill me.

From Rest and Sleep, which but thy picture be,

Much pleasure, then from thee much more must flow;

And soonest our best men with thee do go–

Rest of their bones and souls’ delivery!

Thou’rt slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke. Why swell’st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally,

And Death shall be no more: Death, thou shalt die!”

-John Donne

Umrao Jaan - Pooch Rahe Hain

2010-09-29T01:42:00.002-04:00

The Pendulum Heart

2010-09-02T07:10:00.000-04:00

By Ruhudeen Ali
September 2nd, 2010

Sway, sway, beating heart of mine

passion steers thee from time to time

a push and a tug, is the way that you go

but the inspiration behind clandestine

An issue here, some discourse there

struggle to find yourself everywhere

speak the thoughts pumped up to the mind

and if it goes beyond them, nevermind

Opinions are frantic & thoughts scurry

where I stand, why's it so blurry?

where I stand, why bring the jury?

where I stand, why do they worry?

Views are the result of silly emotions

logic gets no play

and these are more vast than the seven oceans

what more is there to say?

The way I see today

differs from what I saw before

what I see now will change on the 'morrow

as the pendulum beats from joy to sorrow

So trust not what I do say

for it is the result of this heart's sway

see it go swinging, a push and a tug

by the hands of the One from above

Sway, sway pulsating pendulum

as I remind myself through the days

faith and doubt are not toys to play

still the words I speak boys do say

So be cautious, recipient of my words

lest you seek the playground of boys and girls

inside this beating heart of mine

sway, sway it does, from time to time.

Thoughts on so-called 'Ground Zero' Mosque

2010-08-27T19:43:00.009-04:00

I've left myself out of this issue for the most part until now but I feel like I need to say something. When the anniversary of 9/11 is being declared as "Burn the Quran day" by a Florida Church, that's when I need to speak up; as well as all those who see the potential for a chaotic future if such actions and sentiments go unchecked. The issue of the mosque has become a national controversy when it really shouldn't be. In the words of Obama, "let's be clear" - the core of the issue really isn't about the mosque & location, (although it started out as that,) it's about peoples' fear that this is seen as some kind of "victory over our enemies." The truth of this lies in the controversy over the name of the center itself (which was first called "Cordoba House" and is now being called "Park 51.") Mosque opponents say Cordoba House was intentionally named so to further rub this 'victory' in the wound, as they say the historical Cordoba was an emblem of Muslim sovereignty over a non-Muslim populace [hence the so-called 'victory.'] In the words of Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, "'Cordoba House" is a deliberately insulting term. It refers to Cordoba, Spain–the capital of Muslim conquerors, who symbolized their victory over the Christian Spaniards by transforming a church there into the world's third-largest mosque complex... every Islamist in the world recognizes Cordoba as a symbol of Islamic conquest."** On the other-hand, the Mosque developers say Cordoba was historically known for its multiculturalism and pluralism, where people of different faiths created a rich culture together. This dichotomy over interpretation of what the Islamic center really signifies has polarized both camps into seeing it no longer as just an issue of a mosque in a particularly sensitive location, but grown the picture into fear of conquest versus the right to practice religion in this country. Let's take a look at this statement: "victory over our enemies" a bit further.

"Victory?" Who's victory? Victory is a word used in a context of a battle or contest. American Muslims are not contesting nor battling anything of the American establishment, but foreign extremists are. As for the extremists, their goal is to alienate the U.S indigenous population against the Muslims and vice-versa so as to further their political agenda. Segregation is actually what they - the extremists - want, because if Muslims were dis-integrated in American society then the extremists would gain sympathetic support from that faction in the West. By integrating & accepting American Muslims into the mainstream, America essentially thwarts the extremists' goals of creating disenfranchised Muslims, who could potentially become home-grown terrorists. So with the way the debate is dividing people on both sides, the only victory here would sadly be for the terrorists. As for the American Muslims, a common need for a bustling community is being fulfilled here, nothing more.

"Enemy?" Who's the enemy? America probably has more religious freedom than any other country in the world. Islamophobia is more open in Europe. Just look at France's ban on hijabs, hell even two Muslim nations [Turkey & Syria] have banned (or proposed bans on) the burka in some form or another. America has always welcomed Muslims, just like any other peaceful migrating community, and what we're seeing is the natural result of immigration, not the result of a war or contest. And that's just concerning immigration, but what about America's long shared history with Islam and Muslims dating back since before Malcom X? Muslims have long been loyal citizens of America and 9/11 hasn't changed that. Building an Islamic center on privately owned property is perfectly within Constitutional rights and is a reflection of a need for that community. There are lots of Muslims in the city, and even many Muslims died on 9/11. Guess what? They all need a place to pray. Lower Manhattan already houses another mosque that has been there longer than the Twin Towers and without any controversy. And to make a further point, there is a mosque right by another 9/11 site at the Pentagon. How come there is no controversy there?

My point is, if America sees us as an enemy, then they should focus on curbing immigration and not limiting Constitutional civil liberties to those who are already here legitimately; who should enjoy the rights of other American citizens. If Muslims saw America as an enemy then how come we don't see the kind of radical anti-Western sentiment here? Because if it does exist, it doesn't reflect the mainstream American Muslims at large but perhaps the fringe (and even that has more to do with opinions on foreign policy rather than the principles America stands for.) Lastly if any American Muslims do see America as an enemy, then they need to take a long hard look and ask themselves, why are they even living here? America is founded on the principles of equity for all, it welcomes all peaceful nations & communities and as such there is a natural compromise that comes with being a citizen here when everyone has to be accounted for. Therefore, they cannot expect every single law to comply with their beliefs or views. America expands our tolerance at first, then breeds acceptance. If you are not prepared to accept let alone tolerate other people, then you need to seriously consider leaving this country. So the question of who the enemy is really has to do more with our own views of tolerance and acceptance, as well as genuine misinformation and ignorance. Knowledge brings understanding and understanding brings unity, ignorance only breeds fear and apprehension. In sum, America is not the enemy of American Muslims. For those who see America as an enemy, they either do not live here and are sympathetic to the extremist cause or need to consider moving out if they do live here. This mosque has no place for their kind anyway.

At first I was opposed to this proposed mosque as well because I knew it would stir the controversy it has. I knew the issue really had to do with integration more than anything else because American Muslims are not yet seen as fully integrated in American society. If a crazy person shares the same background as a normal person, and the crazy person does something crazy, in an integrated society that accepts people of their background, the crazy person is seen as crazy and the normal person as normal without any infringements on the normal person's rights. But when both crazy and normal are seen as a team or that they have hidden agendas, then mistrust will lead that society to believe the normal person is also crazy. This mistrust is exactly what we are seeing as each day brings out more nay-sayers and supporters until hopefully we see the day when American Muslims can be trusted and welcomed into mainstream American culture. Hopefully this Islamic center can play its role in that service.

**Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ground_Zero_Mosque

Wilbur Sargunaraj - Melanin Man

2010-08-24T03:42:00.000-04:00

I just came across this guy's material and I have to say its fresh, silly but comically genius. He reminds me of an Indian Sacha Baron Cohen or even Andy Kaufman because he's always in-character in all his videos, (although that's a premature comparison considering he hasn't really shown us much yet.) Look him up on Youtube, check out this song & listen to his debut album here:

http://wilbursargunaraj.bandcamp.com/

Funny Indian!

Michael Jackson - Will You Be There

2010-08-14T01:57:00.001-04:00

Mohd. Rafi - Man Re Tu Kahe Na Dheer Dhare

2010-08-10T18:17:00.002-04:00

The Sealed Door

2010-07-31T01:31:00.000-04:00

Chrono Trigger OST

Omnivorous Stupidity

2010-07-29T06:06:00.009-04:00

So I've been thinking, it's great being an omnivore and all, but if you really think about it, some of the stuff we eat is kinda...gross, weird, and stupid or some combination of these. The reason I say 'stupid' is because many of the things we eat, most other animals (omnivore or not) would likely pass up. I use the standard example of animals in nature to demonstrate whether or not something is safe or natural to eat since their instincts are sometimes more keen than ours [but only sometimes damnit!! grrrrr...] Anyways, granted, different species can digest and process different foods, but still, you have to wonder about some of the stuff we eat. Leaving aside some of the more questionable animals/bugs [and parts thereof,] let's take a look at some things we eat more typically but tend not to reflect on. Personally, I love many of the things I'm listing below, but they're still weird things to consume. For example...

Mushrooms - Mushrooms are fungi people [insert 'fun-guy' joke here.] As fungi, mushrooms represent a living organism whose primary function is to decompose organic matter. They play an important role in the ecosystem but at the same time, their life is dependent upon some decaying organic matter (with the possible exception of some subspecies.) There is another word for this kind of organism - saprophytes. A saprophyte is an organism that feeds off of decomposing organic matter and therefore contributes to the decomposition. Similar to a parasite but with a different function. It's important to note that mushrooms' nutritional values vary considerably (from very little to decent) but careful cultivation is necessary to grow the 'right kind' of mushroom edible for human consumption, otherwise we could be poisoning ourselves unknowingly, even fatally. Still, among these edible types, they are sometimes known to cause allergic reactions in certain people and may even be a significant source of carcinogens! [*fn- wikipedia]
Milk - All hail the wonderful product of milk! I have to say I'm a big fan of dairy products. We all love milk and sure it's great but before it became a commercialized product we came to customize in all sorts of ways, we must not forget (and this is easier for women) that it was first produced in the mammary gland of mothers with fresh offspring. Milk is a nutrient-rich food that is easy on digestion for infants due to their increased levels of lactase enzyme. Once we mature, lactase enzymes naturally decline as milk is no longer needed [hint hint] as we begin digesting more complex foods. In other words, nature set a cut off point for milk consumption. But why? Perhaps because of the high-fat content? Or perhaps because of the duration of the mothers' elevated hormone levels necessary for milk production? The fact that we continue to drink milk means we could be subjecting our bodies to unnatural amounts of fat-rich nutrients and/or prolonged hormone elevation (if we were to consume human milk the way we do animal-milk.) We must remember that although we live with technology that allows us to reduce the fat in milk, by itself it was intended to be a fat-rich food, which means that the mother will have to sacrifice her comfort and body to produce such a powerful food (i.e- elevated fat-percentage in her own body is required to make the product & not to mention the pain and discomfort from swollen mammaries.) To subject humans to that sort of treatment for commercial consumption would be considered inhumane but we pay no mind to it since its coming from an animal (cow, goat, or sheep, etc.) Which raises the other interesting question: Why do we drink animal milk when non-human milk was not intended for our use? And what sort of problems arise with the question of drinking human milk in the same manner? The more you think about it, the more unsettling the reality of it becomes.
Yeasts, yogurt, cheese, and other decayed [fermented] foods - Now I don't drink alcohol, but yeast are a common fungi used in many foods to help preserve/cultivate them (i.e- leavened bread and certain yogurts/cheese etc. The dairy products were first produced from milk, later aged/cultured to make into other food products. Sometimes they contain molds/spores on them as well (e.g- blue cheese.) Sure most of this stuff tastes good but it all sounds kinda disgusting...I mean, when was eating semi-rotten/aged/culture-treated food considered smart? Are we really sure the presence of these bacteria and fungi aren't affecting our health in other obscure ways?
Honey - Honey is seriously awesome, but the way its made is semi-gross. The bee takes nectar, pollen, and tree sap from flowers and processes it inside its abdomen (it has a separate sack for honey) then regurgitates it and other bees chew on it until it becomes more syrup-like and this process of chewing-regurgitation continues until we have the delicious honey we've all come to love - yup, but its true, its bee barf! Honey is not suited for infants because of the dormant spores that occasionally grow within it, since infantile immune systems cannot destroy the spores. Honey is also the only food made by insects that humans eat, interesting no?
Toxins, poisons, peppers and other natural defense deterrents - The uses of alcohol are many but the fact that it is an aged/decayed organic matter makes it weird enough to consume, let alone what it does to your body (liver.) Drugs like cannabis and opium are inhaled/injected/smoked for medicinal and recreational drug-use but were originally created as defense deterrents in the wild to prevent animals from eating these herbs, the same goes for chillies and peppers (hence pepper-spray.) I'm South-Asian and we loooove spices and chilly peppers but technically its bad for us, as it can cause ulcers. The fact that we consume these things is kind of hilarious knowing that in nature they acted as deterrents for consumption. Another example is the Japanese blowfish which has toxins in its gills strong enough to kill someone if not removed properly. Still sushi-lovers consider blowfish a delicacy..its certainly a delicate matter playing with sushi, life and death!

Anyways I'm falling asleep as I'm writing this and the last few paragraphs probably didn't make a whole lot of sense but that's ok since its a rant! My point is that being an omnivore is a privilege that's weird..!! :) ok, maybe i'll be back to edit this thing..or maybe...not zzzzz

Raindrops

2010-07-28T20:39:00.001-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
July 28th, 2010

Raindrops is what we are
once together, assembled as one sea
collected in the spiritual heaven's clouds
descended to this world, we fell down individually

the winds of life scattered us here and there
we met with strangers along the way

joining with friends and colliding with enemies

it would seem nature paired us up with these

the hard surfaces we crashed upon
were the circumstances that made us drift apart
and decided the type of water we would be
and so, we collected into new puddles of pedigrees

no choice in where we fell, we formed our societies

friendships of sweet spring water and gangs of toxic basins

the sweet and salty waters do not mix

so be it, to each his own community

traveling the paths of least resistance
we will eventually meet with that same sea
and be gone as the individuals we thought we were
returning back to the substance of what we are essentially

but remember that we are raindrops
we will be summoned back to the heavens again
and join together becoming that harmonious body
the cycle continues endlessly

but this time reunited, friends and foes alike
neither sweet nor toxic but as simple, plain water
and when we are called to rain again
that is when we will truly reign free.

FFVII: Crisis Core OST - Under the Apple Tree [Zack's theme]

2010-07-26T06:43:00.001-04:00

"Embrace your dreams. If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams, and honor"

Ran'dem Rhymes vol.#14 Silly Spitz

2010-07-21T19:17:00.003-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali

July 21st, 2010

Necesito tamago para mi estomago

chillin on the Galapagos

and I'm your host so here's a toast

ok so its a boast ::cough:: tengo tos

vamanos and walk a mile in my zapatos

I love Sabados but not feelin Domingos

I'm technically a gringo but speak the lingo

girls say 'que lindo eres'

but my name's not Felindo Perez

I'm not Hispanic nor a Latino head

ain't a chico with dreads

seekin Seiko watches with diamond embeds

still I eat dem Jalapeños meng

I'm a desi kid in keds fool

you maybe thought I was in med school

in case you bled stool, (sorry bro)

Bobby Jindal is the feds' tool

I'm flooded with ice to keep my head cool

I'm a rhymin infidel Castro

not a communist but rhymin is manifesto

life's a test bro I'm proper stressed yo

but I'm blessed though cuz the nest grows

and I shower with the Zest yo

pop a Mentos and I'm fresh so

I'm back on my daily grind

runnin outta time ain't cuttin lines

but instead I'm spittin them

and after a sick punchline I'm spittin phlegm

I usually end my raps with a prayer and 'amen'

cuz a ringstone still needs a gem so, ehem

I wanna thank God for the blessings on my fam

maybe now we can travel lands

to visit your house in the sands

I'm just grateful to see light at the end of the tunnel

cuz these past few years were kinda bummer

time to live out old dreams check out new scenes

like as a kid I wanted to be a drummer but for now
its time to just enjoy the summer with my team nah mean?

MGS: Peace Walker OST (Heavens Divide)

2010-07-14T17:40:00.004-04:00

Lata Mangeshkar - Zindagi Pyar Ka Geet Hai

2010-07-06T05:43:00.002-04:00

The Oath

2010-06-17T07:39:00.000-04:00

FFVIII - The Oath [Arranged]

My thoughts on the Gaza Floatilla Massacre

2010-06-01T15:10:00.009-04:00

Til now I've been mostly quiet about this incident, not because I haven't been reading the news, but for a number of other reasons. During the Israeli offensive "Operation Cast Lead" last year, I was blogging, posting news reports and videos about the massacre as actively as I could. My main motive was to spread the awareness of the dire situation of life - or what remains of it - for Palestinians spread across the occupied territories. I felt at the time that enough is enough; I didn't care what the cost to me would be, if any. As far as I was concerned, the 3rd Semite holocaust had been created by the descendants of the first two, and I was determined to do my small part in bringing some type of justice to the situation. Afterall, what discomfort can we face that compares with the utter suffering and despair of the millions living in the hell of Gaza and the West Bank?

But justice has yet to be seen. Following last year's massacre, I was slightly hopeful when I heard of Obama's "toughening" stance on Israel's policies on the illegal occupation and settlements that continue to spread in the West Bank and other places, even against UN Resolutions. But in reality, Obama's stance was only a PR tactic; a ploy to appease a growing audience of angry justice-demanders. Today, Obama's silence on this issue, has proven this. The message I think is clear: "We don't care." And though Hillary and Biden have said a few words here and there, and Obama showed "cold shoulders" to the Israeli cabinet during their last recent visit, it was really all just to get us to think, "finally, Washington has awoken and turned a critical eye to its ally because of her actions." Now we see that's not true at all.

I am, of course, saddened by yet another trespass on Palestinian sovereignty, and I am sadly, no longer phased by new fantastic lows achieved by the Israeli military and government. The killing of unarmed, innocent peace activists on board civilian ships in international waters, bringing aid to a besieged population in an illegal blockade, under an illegal occupation - just doesn't shock me anymore. So in that way, I guess Israel's PR tactics of denying the hideous facts, lying outright, and desensitization have worked in some degree; aye, they have worked well upon the sleeping world. But we have seen this before when the world turned a blind eye of denial to the 2nd Semite Holocaust in Nazi Germany, desensitized by all the gruesome images, as it is now during the third. "Never again!" we said, but 'again' is present right before our very eyes.

I am glad that Israelis themselves take a stand against the rogue actions of their government and a number of Israeli organizations and activists have openly condemned the actions of the army and military and have made a genuine case for a reassessment of Israeli policy toward the Palestinians in favor of likely greater safety and prosperity for both. They are not self-hating Jews, as the media would like to portray, nor are any who take a stand against Israel's bizarre violations of international law, but sadly, that is how they are made to come off. I personally have suffered what I consider a loss of good company and friendship from a few of my Jewish friends who, I can only assume, had decided to stop talking to me because they realized my stance on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict was pronounced. To them, I wish to say, I love you all. This has nothing to do with you at all. I don't look at what you are and I am proud of your Jewish identity and I am happy when I see your people embrace your culture because I know my history; I know how much your people have suffered and how much your people have done for the world. All Abrahamic religions stem from the same legacy which your people have left, so profoundly positive has been your impact. This is a complaint against a political situation concerning the bad governance of a country, not the country or the idea of the country itself, and certainly not to those who identify as nationals of that country or any other kind of attachment to it.

I can understand the sentiments you may feel, too often civil discourse on politics turns sour and quickly turns to racism and Jew-bashing. However, that is not within my tolerance, neither is it within our peoples' history either - Muslims and Jews have lived together in harmony for over a thousand years of Islamic history. Jews, Christians, and Muslims are spiritual family and much of this global family is genetically linked together as well, being descendants and relatives of the original Tribes of Israel. When I see Jews, I think of Moses (peace be upon him) and I smile at what he's done for his community. When I see Christians, I think of Jesus (peace be upon him) and I smile at what he's done for his community. And when I see Muslims, I think of Muhammad (peace be upon him) and I smile at what he's done for his community - but, I also weep for how we all have strayed from our prophets' lofty teachings. Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad would surely form a most holy, strong brotherhood and worship Yahweh/Jehovah/the Father/Allah, in unison..so then, where did we - their followers - all go wrong?

Returning to the point, I want my Jewish friends who I treasure to know that a critical stance on Israel is not a rejection of Israel itself. Israel needs a reformation but must not be "taken off the map" nor should she have to suffer this kind of international humiliation and objection. In an ideal world, Israel and Palestine, Jews and Arabs would let their children play, inter-marry and protect one another instead of what we see today. That is why I am in agreement with the other voices who call for a reform; one that recognizes the pain of both the Palestinians and the Israelis, and I for one feel that in order for mutual reparations to take effect, power must be restored to the powerless first for equality to mean anything. It cannot be justified to keep a populace oppressed simply for the fear that if they were suddenly released they would devour their captors like caged, rabid dogs. Anger is justified, but for peace to work there needs to be careful, international presence and unconditional positive regard to heal wounds as deep as the Earth's surface. It is difficult yes, but God, as we all know and believe, has done far greater than this.

So in my closing thoughts I want to say that I am saddened that my speaking out on controversial topics such as the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has distanced some of my Jewish friends from me. For speaking out against Israel's policies, the media has portrayed our ilk as irrational, bigoted anti-Semites - And as God is my witness, as far as I can speak for myself, that couldn't be further from the truth. It is not about Israeli-Palestinian, nor Jew-Arab, it is about the issue of humanity being enslaved and not free to live. That is the point I feel at heart. Satan, who our faith teaches is ever trying to divide humanity and pit us against each other, must not win. Please, let's all just put aside group-bashing, name-calling, finger-pointing, and all the other devices we use to start a war.

This, in large part, is what has kept me mostly quiet this time around. I know the world over is screaming in condemnation at this recent event, and let them do so. But I choose not to - not because I don't care, but because screaming "injustice!" thus far hasn't done anything of change on the grand scale, and not least on a personal level. Afterall, God watches all and I have yet to hear Him scream. I will end this post on a positive note, because we are all distant relatives. Wishing peace upon Jews, Arabs, Israelis and Palestinians, on Christians and other non-Muslims, and on the nation of Muhammad (p.b.u.h) as well. The song below is not connected directly to the topic but it addresses the "sleeping sons of Jacob," a call to wake up and become the kings our ancestors used to be; the ones we read in our holy books today.

Damian Marley & Nas - "Africa Must Wake-up"

Untitled

2010-05-28T21:42:00.002-04:00

An athlete said 'beat this.' A politician said 'appease this.' A criminal said 'cheat this.' A therapist said 'leave this.' A caregiver said 'eat this.' A mechanic said 'grease this.' A fighter said 'defeat this.' A lawyer said 'deed this.' A pauper said 'need this.' A philosopher said 'seek this.' A spy said 'leak this.' A prisoner said 'flee this.' A doctor said 'treat this.' A manager said 'sweep this.' A worker said 'freak this.' A host said 'greet this.' A farmer said 'heap this.' An activist said 'free this.' A rapper said 'peep this.' A chef said 'heat this.' A teacher said 'repeat this.' A leader said 'be this.' A thug said 'bleep this.' A boss said 'meet this.' A general said 'seize this.' A writer said 'read this.' A friend said 'keep this.' A wiseman said 'heed this.' A preacher said 'Jesus.' God said 'reap this.'

A voice inside told me to speak this.

Back from the...Past?

2010-05-26T22:48:00.000-04:00

Hey readers,

I apologize for no updates, posts, or reaction comments for the past month. I had been without a computer essentially, and only had limited access to online activities via mobile web. What happened? Well, my laptop screen died..pretty much. Even now I'm managing with an external monitor until I get my laptop fixed or replaced. I just wanted to say that I appreciate everyone's comments and activity here on my blog recently and I ask you [all] to continue visiting. It will take some time before I can respond to all the comments but I will try my best when time allows. Thank you once again.
-Ruhudeen Ali

Huzoor Aisa Koi Intezam Ho Jaye - Qari Waheed Zafar Qasmi

2010-04-30T02:32:00.001-04:00

Ameen.

Waiting For When

2010-04-24T02:40:00.012-04:00

By Ruhudeen Ali
April 9th, 2010

I am wondering when

I can search the world

and nearly drown to find a pearl.

When I can scale a mountain of effort

to escape from this lonely desert.

When I can swim in a sea of feelings

no longer staring up alone at this ceiling.

I am waiting for when

I can have more reason to care for this shell

to affirm the existence of heaven, after hell.

When in vain I will attempt to measure

the richness contained within the hidden treasure.

When I can be a detective in your search

madly turning over each rock on this Earth.

I'm wondering when

I can forsake these lonely nights' twilight

to have someone else be my guiding light.

When I will thirst without the heat of the sun

that we may drink from the same cup as one.

When in hunger I will starve

for that celebrated cake, that together we will carve.

Waiting for when

I can share my everything

with the one who needs my nothing.

When I will fight 'til my last ounce of strength

for the name of the one who'll remain on my breath.

When I will shed tears and cry

with the one who is, for me, willing to sacrifice and die.

Waiting for when
I will protect the honor

of the one who will defend mine when I'm a goner.

When I can have peace of mind

knowing there is someone who is happy to be mine.

When I will walk with a sense of pride

that someone great wishes to be my bride.

Said I'm wondering when

I will have someone with whom I can confide

feeling mutually complete inside.

When I can pop the question

after all these fruitless sessions.

When I will seek the answer

to find my life's enhancer.

So I await
When I can leave this desolation.

When I can experience worldly perfection.

When I can stop begging the question

Will I ever

...find true love?

Ran'dem Rhymes vol.#13 - Ain't What it Used to Be

2010-04-19T07:15:00.008-04:00

By Ruhudeen Ali
March 9th, 2010

*With a special dedication to the late, great MC Guru of Gangstarr. He was among the pioneers of hiphop and helped lay its foundation on the Eastcoast and worldwide. His death is a huge loss to the hiphop community. RIP 'King of Monotone,' you will be missed. (July 17th 1966 - April 19th 2010)

Now let this be your rap manual n' syllabus

I'm teachin fake emcees its my impetus

why? cuz I'm thoroughbred to be intelligent

and you know I get that thorough bread ladies n' gentlemen

my rhymes be on another level some whole different s***

spoken on the speakers of the world man sorta ubiquitous

matter of fact I'm sick with it

now to show you a bit of this on how I flip a script

"I can't write a phat line to demonstrate"

- now hold up, wait for it

cuz what I just did made me a hypocrite

you see the content is lyrical, delivery is critical

it can make your skills imminent

if its done wrong it can make a rhyme impotent

like turning an Eminem into a simpleton

follow these rules you'll serve madd crews like in Wimbledon

if not, then you'll end up permanently feminine

or tied up whimperin' in some disheveled tenement

whatever the case may be I just poured you some gravy

showin yall how to achieve in great degrees

hiphop was my main squeeze

til she started hangin out with lame emcees

cuz the game just aint what it used to be, now its lame

they opened up the lane to the ignorant n profane

you see hip hop used to be a treasure

worth more than diamonds n' pearls

the sky was the limit, the world was yours

then it sold out to commercial rap

had a gold mine but gave over half,

conscientious MCs no longer rhymin for free

sold out to big labels for stacks of G's

claiming to be real G's spending lavishly

but instead of being real

they pushed an image that was primitive n' savagely

rap then sold out to parties & clubs

became all about hoes, bacardi's & dubs

no longer about the struggle,

what happened to the love?

its value further diminished

prompting us to say "what the fffu-

forget about it when you're upset about it

there's still some talent in these streets man

no doubt about it

bring it back to good lyrics & slammin beats

bring a smile to the hood cynics & jammin geeks

rockin dreads, hop in jeeps bumpin beats

bobbin heads n' stompin feet

but reminiscing about the golden era wont bring it back

we're not even close to a silver era, its beyond whack

let's find n' sign those with craft

those with talent who rhyme with a knack

to put a phat track on wax instead of supporting crap

cuz back in the day whole armies defended hiphop

had its gems locked up in treasuries

not on cheap displays in shops

but nowadays if rap was a currency

its only got a dollar left expecting more theft

now its got no army left

aint no time to toy around let's repent

cuz all we got now is just a Soulja Boy and 50 cent

Nine Inch Nails - And All That Could Have Been

2010-04-09T18:44:00.000-04:00

Breeze still carries the sound
Maybe I'll disappear
Tracks will fade in the snow
You won't find me here

Ice is starting to form
Ending what had begun
I am locked in my head
With what I've done
I know you tried to rescue me
Didn't let anyone get in
Left with a trace of all that was
And all that could have been

Please
Take this
And run far away
Far away from me
I am
Tainted
The two of us
We're never meant to be
All these
Pieces
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
Nothing
You meant everything
Everything to me
Gone fading everything
And all that could have been

Please
Take this
And run far away
Far as you can see
I am
Tainted
And happiness and peace of mind
We're never meant for me
All these
Pieces
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
Nothing
You meant everything
Everything to me

*lyrics courtesy of lyricsmania.com

Becoming, Together (One Day)

2010-03-16T04:42:00.008-04:00

"Becoming, Together (One Day)"

By Ruhudeen Ali

3/16/10

Tired with oars in hands

I row in these murky waters of self-doubt

toward the shores of authenticity's sands

and though its waves crash up against my fragile boat of mind

I am encouraged by the call of friends on the other side

who themselves have nothing to hide nor a reason to chide

for I once saw them live lies

and they once saw the world through my eyes

when they too, were on this quest of mine

I know not when I will reach your place

mustering enough will, knowing in me you place great faith

for traveling the path I would have otherwise not known

together we have mutually grown

upon the windy brooks of cobblestones

in a place I used to call 'home'

amidst days long since gone

Now with those memories placed upon a throne

along with the medals and plaques we earned

at a time when the wheels of time forgot to turn

allowing us to roam for all its concern

I look to this solemn day and I burn

over why we couldn't together traverse this storm
as I can only paddle so far alone

But happy am I to see you all on the shore

I knew that one day I would reach you for sure

to cast off the shackles that made me sore
and celebrate the days of joy with you, as we did before
And now, together, we finally share the core

of all emotions galore, and peace, is forevermore.

Rafi - Duniya na Bhaye Mohe ab toh Bulaley

2010-03-10T02:27:00.001-05:00

duniya na bhaaye mohe ab to bulaa le (2)
charanon mein (2) tere charanon mein

duniya na bhaaye mohe ab to bulaa le (2)
charanon mein (2) tere 
charanon mein (2)

mere geet mere sang sahaare (2)
koyi na mera sansaar mein (2)
dil ke tukde (2) kaise bech doon
duniya ke baazaar mein (2)
mann ke yeh moti rakhiyo tu sambhaale (2)
charanon mein (2) tere 
charanon mein (2)

saat suron ke saato saagar (2)
mann ki umangon se jaage (2)
tu hi bataa (2) main kaise gaau
behri duniya ke aage (2)
teri yeh beena ab tere hawaale (2)
charanon mein (2) tere 
charanon mein (2)

(maine tujhe koyi sukh na diya 
toone daya lootayi dono haathon se) (2)
tere pyaar ki yaad jo aaye (2)
dard chhalak jaaye aankhon se (2)
jeena nahin aaya mohe ab to bula le (2)
charanon mein (2) tere 
charanon mein (2)

duniya na bhaaye mohe ab to bulaa le (2)

charanon mein (2) tere

charanon mein (2)

Castlevania: Lords of Win

2010-03-08T03:40:00.006-05:00

Homie don't play, 2010 is a serious year for games (okay I didn't mean that, homie I'm telling you, you gotta play! Bad joke.) Anyway, you probably thought I was gonna sit here and list a bunch of big releases - nah! go do your own research. But what took me by surprise last year was the announcement of a new Castlevania game in the works with Kojima Productions (YES you heard right - 'Kojima EPIC Productions',) Castlevania: Lords of Shadow for a next-gen release sometime in 2010, and it's shaping up to be totally awesome! Check out the trailer below:

they're saying that it will take the series in a new [ehem God of War-type cough cough] direction. Not that I mind it really, its about time that Konami changes the formula a little to keep things exciting like they did with Symphony of the Night. And speaking of which, they're saying this Castlevania will feature the return of everybody's favorite half-man, half-vampire - Alucard! Well, so far the story revolves around Gabriel Belmont and his quest to revive his deceased wife (man the womenfolk of the Belmont clan have been having a rough few centuries haven't they?) Anyways, we wouldn't have it any other way because that usually translates into badass, pissed-off protagonists who do lots of cool things with a whip (no, not of that nature, but of the 'Vampire Killer' kind.) And if that doesn't really convey the science of win to you then who cares. This is Castlevania, and it's just an awesome series so stay tuned for this one kiddies. Who knows, they might even win over some Twilight fangirls with this one!

Ryu Ga Gotoku (Like A Dragon)/Yakuza Series

2010-02-23T19:26:00.010-05:00

Let's face it, many fans of the series are disappointed fans of the Shenmue series, not because Shenmue wasn't a great game [it's quite the awesome series!] rather, that they never gave the fans what they wanted - a 3rd installment! For those of us who are fans of both Shenmue and Yakuza (who many claim to be the spiritual successor to Shenmue) we want to send Sega a clear message this time around: "Please don't disappoint us again. We love your games! Send them here too, we promise to support them!!!" "Here" of course, meaning the U.S, Europe, and Canada and "support" means buying the damn things. Now that's not to say that we only care about Yakuza because of Shenmue, not at all. In fact, they are as different as night and day, both excellent games and storytelling in their own right. But the style, the drama, the story-telling, the action; although totally different, one can clearly see they are blood-related.

That said, Yakuza 4 (Ryu Ga Gotoku 4) looks amazing! It's scheduled for release in Japan around mid-March while the week prior the U.S will finally see the release of Yakuza 3. I request all those in the video game community and fans of the series to please support the release of Yakuza 3 on March 9th so that Sega will release the 4th ed. here too!! Incase you're new to the series, its basically the Japanese counterpart to GTA but with a very different flair to it. It's an action-adventure crime story and drama revolving around Japan's underground mafia or "yakuza." The story's protagonist Kazuma Kiryu, feared and respected as "The Dragon of the Dojima Clan," is an ex-Yakuza who seeks to rid himself of his past criminal life and start anew. However, his former allies and enemies somehow manage to drag him back into the underworld which he seeks to get away from. If you're a fan of anything remotely close to Grand Theft Auto, or crime stories, you will love this series! It's really awesome, trust me! Check out the trailers.

Kazuma kicking ass, as usual

Here's a snippet at Yakuza 4:

Memoirs of a Female Dog [Entry # 3]

2010-02-18T20:50:00.009-05:00

Sup y'all, its yo' favorite BITCH up in this kennel! Yiieea that's riiiight muthawuffa....Anywayz, I apologize for not being around for so long. I've been mostly busy but had some bouts of being ill as well. A few months back I had constipation and was referred to a clinic for canines that specializes in rectal problems called "Bitches Ain't Shit," the vets there helped me with my long-term constipation problems, they prescribed a stool softener and I got my bowel movements back on so now I'm goooood y'all!! hehe. Other than some minor health issues I've been busy with school; assignments and projects, etc. (and for the millionth time, YES bitches go to school!!)

Woofin' of which, I'm enrolled in this one class right, called "Approaches to Canine Sexuality" and I happen to be the only bitch in the entire class out of like 10-12 dogs. Even though being the only bitch in my classes ain't nuthin new, this time it feels a little extra strange. I mean, we gotta discuss all this touchy subject matter that can make you feel uncomfortable being the only bitch. Last week we were discussing arousal and anatomy and I had to share a book with a classmate so we could see all the diagrams and stuff. It was kinda weird looking at pictures of dicks and pussies (not cats) in a room full of dogs. I dunno, I guess I feel a little out of place because these dogs probably have all kinds of sexual experiences while I don't. Worse yet, I don't know if we're gonna be called upon to discuss our personal sex lives (or in my case lack there of) since the syllabus mentions forming discussion groups about controversial topics. I guess I'll find out in time. The other class I'm taking is a class on Mutli-culturalism and we're learning about oppression, racism, and prejudice. I learned that *being a bitch,* I fall into a minority category and need to discuss the experiences of racism and sexism I might've faced for being a bitch all my life. I dunno..I guess there's so much to say. (I'm also the only bitch in this class too!) And it just so happens that I'm a Pakistani bitch, the only one in the entire building perhaps! I just feel like I offer a unique perspective being one-of-a-kind in most of my classes but I keep quiet mostly..I'm not sure if its cuz I'm feeling shy or whatever the case may be. Anyways, I hope I open up at least enough to get good participation pts for my grades WOL. Well, I guess that's it for now, if I left somethin out I'll just make another entry and I'll try not to be forever again next time. Rolfina signin' off, til next time hot dogs!

*DISCLAIMER* - My "Memoirs of a Female Dog" series is not, nor was it ever meant to be an attack on women, quite the contrary to be exact. In a comical way I poke fun at the usage of the word "bitch" and how its almost become acceptable to call women "bitches;" something I personally do not agree with. As I've stated earlier, I am guilty of the crime myself, but what I try to use this series for is to highlight the ridiculous culture surrounding the word and how many take it negatively and others (some feminists) turned it into a positive word because of its over-usage. To me, that's like taking another offensive slur and trying to make it positive just because society cannot stop using the word (I'm sure you can think of other examples in popular usage..) Anyway, to bring it all back to what the word bitch really means (a female dog) I thought I'd start a series that is about a real bitch and at the same time be a satire on the word and make you guys laugh. If anything this series seeks to accomplish is to show how ridiculous it really is to equate a woman with a real female dog (a bitch) and hopefully to show how ignorant and degrading it really is.

1 Litre of Tears - The Diary of Aya Kitou (Chapter 2 - Part IV)

2010-02-11T23:22:00.003-05:00

Chapter 2 - Part IV

Characteristic

"I look up to people with strong personality traits, because I myself have nothing special.
I'm attracted to the idea of each individuals putting out their own unique characateristics.
Maybe even in the world that we live in, our uniqueness and talents are used to make the most out of life, like the movie "007."
The world is in need of people with strong character traits.
However, characteristics only belong to you, so it's not something you shove and give away to others.
But people take things in a different way, so it gets complicated.
When I was leaving school, I met Eiko at the bicycle shed. As I held onto "Yamato" and "Last Concert" records, Eiko put my heavy bag inside the byecycle basket.
Eiko said she had something to do so we parted at the crosswalk.
I really like how Eiko is so straight forward, but other people think she is cold hearted."

- 1 Litre of Tears

"Never B Peace" by Tupac Shakur

2010-02-02T11:44:00.010-05:00

[Chorus]
"Will there ever be peace?
Or all we all just headed for doom,
Still consumed by the beefs,
And I know, there'll never be peace (never)
That's why I keep my pistol when I walk the streets
'Coz there'll never be peace."

Tupac is such a conscience-awakening artist because so much of his music is a reminder of the pain and struggle of young Black youth, but really speaks to all impoverished urban youth the world around. In particular, Tupac's message can be seen to resonate well with minority populations that have been cut off, forgotten, and abandoned by the larger world community. And so during so-called "quiet" times according to the dominant-aggressor, the struggling minority community sends reminders to shock the dominant and dormant communities of the world into realizing that the plight for help and the struggle for survival is still on and just as intense as it's always been, even if not enough to affect change in the larger and dominant community. He is constantly reminding us to wake up and realize the gravity of the situation his community (and like-communities,) and by natural consequence, the larger community will face if things don't change for the better. This is why so many people love Tupac. He was a voice for the oppressed the world-over, and his message is really simple -

if you don't clean up your backyard, the dirt will reach up to your own patio doors, til you're forced to clean it.

If not for the right reasons, the "higher society" should at least care that they will soon face the consequences of abandoning their lower-class counterparts. And this of course, is Tupac's satire of high-class America; because according to him, they always criticize and vilify the ghettos, housing projects, and other poor neighborhoods without really caring about fixing them either, when they are in the position to really make positive changes. So he essentially turns their 'good nature' on its backside and exposes them as heartless and greedy and just about all the other adjectives his own community gets labeled as. And this one song, "Never B Peace" is only one example of a call for reform in the life of a truly prolific yet short-lived career of a budding social activist, aspiring leader and visionary. Rest in Peace Tupac.

"Shit, fuck peace
On the strength 'til my niggas get a piece
We cant have peace
How the fuck we gonna live happy if we ain't got none?
You mahfuckaz is smiling, but I'm mean mugging
Why? Cause I gotta be thuggin
I've seen drugs done turned this whole motherfucking hood out
All us niggas acting up
Wild-ass motherfucking adolescents
These niggas ain't even got no childhoods no more
How the fuck can you have a childhood
and you have a funeral every mahfucking weekend
And you mahfuckaz talking about peace?
Nigga, it ain't no motherfucking peace
You ain't seen the news motherfucker?
You ain't heard?
Little babies getting smoked
Mahfuckaz killing there whole family
'Lil kids getting thrown off buildings
Mahfuckaz gettin abused
Peace!? Nigga is you out your fucking mind??
Fuck peace!
We can't never have peace, till you motherfuckers clean up this mess you made
'Til you fucking clean up the dirt you dropped
'Till WE get a piece
Fuck peace
Westside."

- Tupac Shakur

Nice remix of the original "Never B Peace" (samples "When I'm Gone" by Eminem)

Fantasy Girl

2010-01-28T20:04:00.011-05:00

"Fantasy Girl"
By Ruhudeen Ali
7/18/09

I plunge into the dense mist
like a sword without a shield
searching for your tensed wrist
something of you I can feel

Tell me where have you gone?
Loneliness became my mate
tell me this is not an act you put on
I won't be irate

Without you, is that my fate?
Such agony even my heavy breath cannot reflect
Are divine decrees up for debate?
I'll search the Heavens for another edict

You are my rope
in the rapid's dismal abyss
You are my hope
I'm aching for this one wish

To be with you
must be too much to ask
I'm pleading with the One who
made destiny's hour glass

Is it true that 'we' cannot be?
I wonder can my tears pay the fee?
Before you I could only imagine what was harmony
After you I can only hear its symphony

For a while, you stopped my blood
It was like you landed from above
Not realizing I was falling in love
forgetting I was an ugly duckling
admiring a graceful dove

For a while, you changed the landscape
because you took me to every spot on land, air, and sea
Though we only went by the docks on the cape
you showed me the world over a cup of tea

For a while, you created a time paradox
when we met everything had stopped
But when spoke the hour on the clock
our 'goodbyes' made time run n' hop

Right then from the zenith I fell
That moment, I cannot express in words
Having to leave you when there's so much I didn't get to tell
like the dervish who didn't finish his lauding whirl

And I was back into my world
of sad and lonely depression
Fantasies of you being my girl
had since been both
my damnation and my salvation

And all that remains is just deprivation
without you I'm alone in desolation
You were my frustration
you're my resuscitation

You were my damnation
You were my salvation

You were my world
You were my fantasy girl

What's Up With All These 'Fail' Movies?

2010-01-26T06:20:00.009-05:00

Seriously, video game and anime live-action film translations almost always suck.

Street Fighter (1994), (2008). Mortal Kombat (1995), (1997). Dragonball Evolution (2008). Resident Evil (2007.) The list goes on and on. They were all horrible films, just plain terrible. So why on Earth are they wasting more time and money? The few that were decent [Resident Evil (2002),(2004)] and the one film in my opinion that got it right [Silent Hill (2006)] along with the Death Note series, are so rare that it's almost not worth even tapping the video game/anime market for. If you can't do it right, don't even bother trying. Most of these directors and producers just wanna make money off the untapped market and aren't even fans of the original franchises. Don't get me wrong though, even if a film is a bad translation from a video game or anime series that I like, I still wanna see it. Take 2010's upcoming films, Tekken and The King of Fighters for example. Being a fan of both of these fighting game series, will I be disappointed by these lackluster attempts? Probably. Do I need to actually watch these films to know that they will suck horribly? No. Do I still wanna see them. YES! Here is just a taste of the laugh riot waiting to ensue upon its release:

Tekken trailer. The story apparently revolves around Jin Kazama and the backstory of how his mother was killed by one of his own. Mishima-style family dysfunction contained within

The King of Fighters behind-the-scenes interview with main actor/protagonist Kyo Kusanagi played by Sean Faris

Now I only hope that the upcoming Resident Evil: Afterlife and Metal Gear films don't disappoint as badly (but of course they will.)

"The Healthy Marriage" by Br. Nouman Ali Khan

2010-01-08T17:02:00.004-05:00

Br. Nouman always makes keen insights and here he offers some helpful guidance in light of the Scriptures for the case of the lives of married couples.

Ran'dem Rhymes vol.# 12 - New Year Raps

2009-12-31T18:54:00.005-05:00

By Ruhudeen Ali
Decemember 31st, 2009

As the decade approaches a close
I dwell on the type of clothes I wore on my soul
on a host of different shows
at times I was bold but mostly unknown
open type of person like highway tolls
but never open like bi-way doors
in the dark of night try to grow some more in the light
of the year one-oh like a batch of dro
hope the new decade don't blow
most of the time im feelin so-so
not frequent to visit Soho
cuz I hear there's lots of hobos
then bounce like a yo-yo
mess with me that's a no-no
best watch your back if you're a foe that's on my bro yo
but seriously though

I'm not really trying to say anything with this rap
but its not like I'm saying its crap
everything I say is a craft and all I wanna convey is that
the past 10 years have gone too fast like a nap
there were some fun times
but many years felt like doing time
in other words the last word at the end of the 2nd line
in this verse and yea I know its not a curse
but it still hurts when you think about what you bring with you in the dirt
no time to dwell on that
cuz you can't bust a cap to the brain like Kurt
Cobain even though you feel the pain
you gotta look at the situation and really think again
about what you're blessed with, dressed with
the virtues you're possessed with
not just all the things you messed with
it'll be ok if you confessed it, with the Almighty
its the Message, read it and understand it
then go ahead with your plan kid
cuz nobody will figure this life out for you
you gotta read the cues and pay your dues
follow the rules and be that dude
no time to waste in being rude just brush it off
cuz the Lord wants to dwell in a heart that's soft
and clean ya know what I mean? So get your green
in the year 2010 but don't forget your friends
and if you wanna spread this message go ahead
with the copy and paste and hit send
and as for this rhyme its the end. Happy 2010!

An Apology to My Readers

2009-11-25T03:21:00.006-05:00

Sorry.

Just kidding. Seriously though, I know that for the longest time I've turned my blog into this deposit for my creative writing (poems & raps) and haven't had a "real" blog post in a really long time. Part of that has to do with my being divided on what I should ultimately make this blog. (Well that and because I had actually started up a 2nd blog back in April but that was more for introspective, analytical, personal, and even professional content as compared to this one which is mostly for my creative juices to collect into half-gallon cartons to be sold on the market.

I know in my very first entry (I believe) I said I was going to make this a variety blog with all sorts of topics and surprises and I see how far from that idea I've strayed and I really would just like to apologize to those [few?] who actually [read?] my blog [lol?] or check up every now and then at least to see if I'm still (A:) alive (B:) crazy or (C:) creative. I hope that I can qwell your concerns by saying that I am still all three of these, by the grace of God. Soooo basically I'm writing this as a disclaimer and I guess as a cheezy promo for future posts, rants, and projects to come (once I finish my semester in approx. 3 weeks.) So please continue to stay tuned my loyal loonies! I love you all.
-prisoner #786 (a.k.a Ruhudeen Ali a.k.a -yea right im not writing my real name ;p)

p.s- methinks Rolfina needs to come out for another stroll very soon....

The Deen Show Interviews Ex-Rapper Napoleon

2009-11-23T19:15:00.003-05:00

Brother Mutah Beale (Aka "Napoleon") + Brother Eddie from The Deen Show + topic of faith = Great interview! :) Much respect.

Make You Proud, Mama

2009-11-17T05:20:00.028-05:00

By Ruhudeen Ali
11/17/09

Now ever since I learned the color scheme
in the days of my pre-teens you taught me 'there'll be,
a solution for everything except death'
'character is in your hands son, then comes respect'
Mama, you always prepared me for the road ahead
and you know your boy is prone to reflect
but at times I'm confronted by challenges unmet
cuz life's been throwing me left and right hooks
I can't make it make sense even with the right books
paths ahead of me not sure which one I took
of saints and crooks I fear I might've mistook
looking at the path with the less light
even though I'm blessed right I'm shook,
too obsessive over depressed nights
unhealthy like pain from an abscess site
at times left to feign like an actress might
my dear Mama.

Feelin like a distressed knight but not dressed right
with this broad sword in hand but no real plans
and a righteous word but no mission
that childhood you gave me I'm missin
that kind of peace I was seekin through prayer and wishin
in other words the 'religion of submission'
but my prayers are like dissin cuz most of em are missing
from lack of clear vision like I'm far-sighted but not distant
I'm here sittin, feelin stricken by my thinkin
cooking in the kitchen, sickened by my condition
meanwhile people are climbing up positions
passing me by, earning provisions
cuz I'm on the road's shoulder
I can't catch up cuz you see I got this stone boulder
like everyone's burdens are dumped on my broad shoulders
my face suggests the remnants of harsh torture
narcissistic gone ballistic feelin hectic
self-reproached at times with a death wish
outside lookin plastic inside its drastic
the walking contradiction, seeking to give reparation to the nations
I'm seeing out-patients but inside I'm impatient
my soul's derision results in self-infliction, and the absence of wisdom
to better times got me reminiscing.

But with all this in the background
do I still make you proud?
Like when me and you go out and everybody shouts out a "Wow,
wish my son could be like yours" they say
"he's got that charm and good-boy sway"
and all I can say is "oy vey"
that's like dousing a wound with a soy sauce tray
its like what they say they parlay
and wager like im something major
calling for my attention like a surgeon's pager
Ma, I wanna do something major to make you proud
but right now I feel lamer than the crowd
knowing you want me to earn some titles like pronouns
but I'm stuck in a showdown between aspirations and abilities
spiritually, in-between taxation and tranquility
One day I'm gonna earn my pay
and with your prayers I'll find my way
as a man and hold the hand of a fair maiden
married with children, my dreams you contract em
by your conversations with the Lord who enacts em
the ultimatim - is to serve the both of you til adieu
no matter how much I give for your love
I can never make due
Mama, I will always and forever love you.

Blank Sheet

2009-11-10T04:54:00.006-05:00

By Ruhudeen Ali
11/10/09

Blank sheet, spare me your empty speech
come to me instead with joyful glee
tell me a story that's just about you and me
take me across the world's seven seas
without me having to say 'please.'

Show me the place of ideas again
I don't care if its a lovely terrace or lonely shed
for right now, my intelligence has fled
I need to be where couplets are bred.

Endow me with inspirational thoughts
accompany me on my lonely walks
you should know me by now, my life you stalk
but you cannot write me a word, like a broken chalk.

In days long past, you would send me gifts to my bed
in my dreaming state couplets would dance 'round my head
moments like this I did not have to dread
wondering whether it's my brain or pen that is dead.

But now seeing you is no longer the same
you and I together, it's no longer a game
words strung together can only be so lame
when spoken from apparent lack of pain.

I face you now with glimmering hope
won't you lend me some colors from your kaleidoscope?
In this chair and quiet solitude, only you are my host
together there's no hoax, we must make this the most.

So now with pen I write fresh new lines
hoping there's quotes for tomorrow's times
of writing, an example that shines
of a work I can claim as mine!

And now you are no longer blank
the cogwheel of mind can do without the crank
I wonder at times, if this was all your silly prank
but I care not anymore, it is to you I owe my thanks.

Me & My Tea

2009-10-24T00:37:00.014-04:00

"Me & My Tea"
By Ruhudeen Ali
October 23rd, 2009

As the world turns another day, I sit with my cup of tea
while a thousand and one affairs
take place across land, air, and sea
but all I can do is stare
at the beautiful scenery in front of me.

History saw the rise and fall of nations
they've built the world's ancient wonders and now build space stations
But I'm sitting here in a garden of impatiens
sipping my tea, admiring their creations.

People change lives and the season changes leaves
a woman accepted bribes, while a man today grieved
a boy became a hero while his brother became a thief
I am only here, lost in the greenery
just me and my tea.

A tale of lovers somewhere blossomed, while some have ended
somewhere a man himself amended
I am still here with nothing to pretend
there is so much in myself to which I must attend
with me and my cup of tea.

Some rejoiced and became healthy today
while others became sick and infected
I am sitting here calm and collected
with nothing to expect on this quiet deck
only me and my tea.

A friend reached out, her friend retracted
neighbors were peaceful while others over-reacted
"Why are you so lazy ol' friend?" some are asking
my tea is not yet finished, these thoughts they are distracting.

Soldiers fought a battle and lost their lives
their platoon carried on the fight, pregnant were their wives
I only sip tea until the sunset dives
awaiting some kind of drive, hoping it arrives

Cities and nations gained and lost today
people earned reward from self-restraint again
others sinned, the lines they've crossed again
I was here all day just thinking my thoughts
as I finish up my tea and what remains.

The sun and moon traversed the sky
a dog chased tail, traders struggled and failed
a man told a lie while at home his beloved she wailed
I am left to wonder
for what purpose created was I?

Those who fought and struggled today
who worked hard and earned their pay
and at night with lover lay
have not the time of day, like I
to enjoy the aroma of Earl Grey.

But some they've laughed, others they've cried
some were born and some have died
some gave up and others continued and tried
as I relaxed, the entire day went by
without so much as having to swat a fly!

Night-time came and I rest my head
lying there on my bed I realized
the only thing I did all day
was let out a long and heavy sigh
with just me and my cup of tea....

I Am

2009-09-16T04:40:00.006-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
September 16th, 2009

I am the fewer among the few
I am the sewer you never knew
I am the blandness of taste
I am the place of gathered waste
I am the gong of broken bell
I am the well of sensual hell
I am the sting in moments of bliss
I am the abyss of apathy remiss
I am the wish you don't want to make
I am the example of mistake
I am the circuit's broken switch
I am the program's system glitch
I am the vacuum of vibrant energy
I am the heathen to holy clergy
I am the whore of receptivity
I am the door of impulsivity
I am the blood of dying victim
I am the lie of painted wisdom
I am the glue of the sealed heart
I am the pandora's box in mart
I am the clothes of prostitutes
I am the imbecile absolute
I am the obstacle to light
I am the darkness of the night
I am the grave of sincere tears
I am the slave of suffering years
I am the ignorant cursed fool
I am the belligerent devil's tool
I am sin's wicked apprentice
I am the lost and sunken Atlantis
I am the elect of the damned
I am the surprise when scammed
I am the chosen of the wretched
I am the blight of the blessed
I am the bane of human existence
I am utter lack of resistance
I am the blackhole of despair
I am hope's final distress flare
I am the lack of all care
I am beyond any repair
I am the sick composite
I am purity
for by me, you will come to know its opposite.

Freedom Creature

2009-09-14T06:50:00.011-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
September 14th, 2009

I am a freedom seeker
searching for the day after tomorrow
when tomorrow seems bleaker, than today
I am weaker
searching for an antidote for my soul
in the words of a gifted speaker
to uplift the hungry and the meager
because food is all around either
but in reality feeding neither
so I can't eat my cake and be its keeper
I search for a meaning that is deeper
cuz its not about the cars and clothes you hold
nor the style that is sleeker
but that you wake up the internal activist
and not be a sleeper
I search for companionship in that I'm eager
cuz if she's got all I need to stand firm on my feet
all the more reason to go and seek her
she's most definitely a keeper
I'm far from being a teacher
there's more reasons why I come up to greet you
I have hopes when I meet you
because I see potential in you as a healer

People with no patience see the prize
before their eyes and they steal her
unhealthy cycles lead to addictions
can't even work a job being a sweeper
stress got us all depressed
up late nights crying like weepers
feeling like life defeats us
when the suffering invites to keep us
some turn to Moses, Muhammad, and Jesus
searching for guidance among the scripture they leave us
reading the word trying to figure out the thesis
they say move on like telekenesis
its not meant to be a weakness
take it in stride, why so serious?
I am facetious though not always heedless
still not always strong I go searching for my song
sometimes I curse out in wrong so bleep this
I like to sleep on the matter like I creep this
but I got a secret for your ears so peep this
I think we need this, inspirational kinda speeches
because each one of us masks a hidden genius
that won't surface cuz its stuck underneath the pieces
of a broken person being submerged under feces
cleansed with spiritual ammonia and bleaches
seeking to liberate the Dionysus just beneath it
some hearts and minds I hope this reaches
my message, go leak it go out and preach it
every moment carries an opportunity so seize it
I know you and I both feel this
afterall, we're freedom creatures.

Safa & Marwa

2009-09-08T06:10:00.004-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
April 2nd, 2006

Between Safa and Marwa you wander, lost -
aimlessly seeking a solution to your problems.
Seven times you go to and fro
through each of the heavens for an answer.
When will you discover
the eternal spring of zamzam within yourself?
and the Lord says:
"Behold! Safa and Marwa are among the Symbols of Allah" [2:158]

A Return to Chivalry

2009-09-08T04:12:00.005-04:00

This is a nice article:

http://muslimmatters.org/2007/04/24/a-return-to-chivalry/

Ramadan Rap

2009-08-30T01:44:00.017-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
August 29th, 2009

My focus is falling short like a Keebler elf
I'm working on my feebler self
but I'm needing help
from the scripture that we keep on the shelf
searching for somethin spiritual like a feeling felt
Ramadan shows me my deeper self
showing me my spirit's asleep like a sleeper cell
hoping I escape the Reaper's Hell
I wrote this on a freakin Dell
prayer I need this well
so I can grow like a fetus swells
and await the day when Jesus tells
the Law to the people well
and ring the steeple's bell before he'll
make us peep through shells freaked as hell
cuz we can tell the heedless fell
deep in Hell cuz they bleep and yell
stuck in the heathens' jell
in pits with reeking smells
snuck in sales on Adidas' shares
now they're creeps in jail
that act a fool like needless dares
people lost in feeble pairs weakness glares
seekin affairs with fleeting care
mocking vows cuz nobody's keepin theirs

I'm strugglin to keep my prayers
observin the ego slayers
who preach to the evil sayers
I'm eyeing peaches and pears
but I'm fasting and eagerly aware
of the hour when I devour the food shares
and though I'm no sooth-sayer
I can predict we'll meagerly share
the rations among utensils and dinner-ware
pack the rest in tupper-ware
where it goes in the refridgerator for later
masticator's gotta stop eating before fajr prayer
breaking his wudhu cuz he's a flatulator
sitting there with a calculator
calculating when he can eat his apple n' bagel

Yo its rough like the skin of an alligator
meals delayed like procrastinators
appetite's shot like a bullet from the terminator
stop being a hater don't be spiritual girly men
call up a friend and have him come from afar to an iftar
even if he's from Agrabah and his name's Jafar
but yo this ain't Aladdin get to food-grabbin
take a napkin and before Taraweeh take a nap in
the sack bin but don't let your nafs become the captain
that's why you gotta slap him, cap him
put you in control of the cabin
anything to make it happen
so we can reap rewards that we can't fathom
the path is described in the Lord's Canon
supported in the testimony of His banner
all's well when you make Him your daily Planner
so stop the silly banter and pick up the Prophet's mantle
and dismantle all that which is mangled
and make this your Ramadan anthem
crescent moon and star-spangled. Salam

Ran'dem Rhymes vol.#11

2009-08-29T16:07:00.012-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
August 29th, 2009

I'm a South Asian wonderin
what it means to be a Xian*
my hsin** is exposed to all this sin
my heart is hurt and exposed like a shin
wishin I could walk with God up in Heaven
with Him like amen
A-men means without men
meeting women in Heaven on a whim
but I'm not satisfied over somethin
that appeals to my lower thing
besides right now my chances are lookin slim
I'll be grateful if I could just get a slice of Paradise
even if its thin
like the Most Merciful covers my sins
asks me to raise my chin
and that's when I behold the most epic of wins
all this I say with a "God-willing"
but right now I walk around with a grin
my heart is in a garbage bin
lookin within
I'm searching for something
in a world full of nothing
but what I'm really lookin for is everything
I don't need 3 wishes from a genie
got no requests for man nor jin
I just need to figure out some things
like why am I here
what do I fear
who do I hear
and what out there is real
you feel? Cuz I can't conceal
the unrest I feel
uneasy like I'm walkin on heels
my life's like a bad movie on film reels
So what's the deal cuz I'm about to squeal
sometimes I can't take it here
I need to get in gear
and swim to my purpose like an eel
before my sanity begins to peel

The world my heart it mold
A girl my heart she stole
I filled its bowl with words of her extol
even though I know
the Lord is the only one worth the whole
I was a tired ho lost in a deep hole
searching for someone with whom I could grow
cuz I wasn't getting that hangin out with the bros
Lord knows my tears flowed
but I guess none of it showed
cuz my tears and holes nobody sowed
my heart was on my sleeve like it was my clothes
guess it was nobody's goal
plus I'm a nobody joe shmoe
thought I had a heart full of gold
til I was shown its actually black as a crow
not high and mighty but rather low
from the days I would show
pride puffed up like a 'fro
I am my own worst foe
but now that's not how it goes
you already knew I could write prose
so now check out my flows.

*Xian (Anglosized- "Hsien") pronounced "shian" means many different things in Chinese but the most prevalent of definitions are "spiritual," "immortal," "heavenly."
**Hsin ("Xin") pronounced "shin" means "mind" or "heart."

Demetri Martin's "If I"

2009-08-29T01:36:00.005-04:00

I first saw this years ago but forgot how funny, unique, and inspirational this is. Maybe it might inspire someone out there....Enjoy!

PART-I

PART-II

PART-III

PART-IV

PART-V

PART-VI

My Song

2009-08-28T16:44:00.002-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
July 29th, 2004

My song, where is my song? Where could it possibly be? I have searched my entire life for it and as of yet, to no avail. I wander around this earth in hopes that I will encounter it and that it may speak on behalf of what I could never express.... I smile from afar when I think I've found it, only to be let down when I get closer. I feel peace when I recognize a part of its intoxicating tune, but feel unrest when I cannot find it. I try to express this thirst of longing in my heart with words but it is fruitless. When speech's words are exhausted beyond expression and the tongue is tired from her dance; the heart's content is still not met. That is when I search for my song, that it may speak on behalf of my heart - my very essence.

As I explore this world I see young lovers together, embracing one another and picture myself in their shoes, thinking to myself, "that is not my song." I see beautiful women all over the place and picture myself among them but feel in my heart, "that is not my song." I go to fancy restaurants and eat of the gourmet meals and think to myself, "that is not my song." I watch all kinds of movies and feel moved by its drama that I might find myself within it, yet think to myself, "that is not my song." I listen to all kinds of music and search for the mood that soothes me, yet think to myself, "that is not my song." I talk to the rich and hear their stories; trying to identify, and yet I say to myself, "that's not my song." I see all kinds of bribery, trickery, and deceit and feel in myself, "this is not my song." I see the life of the wicked and think to myself, "that is not my song." I enjoy all the luxuries of the world, still feeling unsatisfied, I remind myself, "that is not my song." For my song will bring peace and satisfaction to me and nothing else.

Then I go and speak to the humble and weak, and think to myself, "I hear some of its words." I sit with my brothers and sisters and hear what they have to say, and think to myself, "I recognize this tune." I read the Qur'an and say to myself, "I remember this rhythm." I visualize the Prophet (saw) and his companions (ra) and think to myself, "I feel its beat." I feel the pain and sorrow of longing from them and say to myself, "I'm beginning to hear." I humble myself before my Creator and think to myself, "Could this be my song?" I break down and cry, and cry, and hear it's tune getting louder. Yes, it sounds similar, but still not quite there....

My Lord! I've come to realize, my song is not on this earth, but only with You.

For You are the Singer and everyone dances to Your tune. How can I possibly find what I'm searching for because what I'm searching for is actually You. Traces of Your tune can be heard when I turn here and there, but still the whole melody is not played - anywhere. Running frantically to and fro, I search for Your song in this world but feel rejected and frustrated when I don't find it, so I await Your Glorious surprise and throw myself before You in the hope that You will give me Your tune and pleasure and fulfill for me my purpose in being Your slave. Lord, give life to my heart and help me be who I am meant to be, happy as can be - THIS is my song and I will not fully hear it until I meet You.

The King & The Prince

2009-08-24T05:47:00.000-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
July 25th, 2004

Oh singers! You who claim that you speak to the hearts! Hear your King and gather around me for His Majesty shall need your assistance. You have talent for speaking from your hearts and the depths of your souls, so I will need you for a task; that you may sing me a song - telling the tale of this one's heart.... This I ask of you all, for his is a tale of sorrow and grief. His is a tale of riches; a tale of poverty.... He is the Prince, and without him my kingdom is lost, for I have no other heir. I need you to rescue him with your song, for by God he will not respond to anything else! My words are of no avail to him, nor are his to me. With each moment that passes, with each heart beat, he awaits your song of redemption to ease his longing to be understood. In my foolishness, I was not able to understand him, but your song will convey to me his grief and true message.

Now hear me, I bid you to go to him. With him are the troops you will need on your task. With these, could you muster up such a thing? Who among you has such talent? Now then, I tell you go see his tears, which will travel down-stream and moisten your words. Go and feel his heart-throbs which will lend rhythm to your words. Go and witness his pain which will give more power to your words. Whereby with these, you shall be able to sing his heart's pain to all. Is this army not enough to support you on your task? Oh, what song is there that can sing the sorrow of this sad Prince?

You must accomplish this task, for I fear that if he is not awoken, our kingdom will be in utter ruin. He, my beloved son, in whom I entrusted the kingdom's daily affairs. He, my beloved son, who strengthened this one and his kingdom and brought honor to it. He, my beloved son, for whom I was doing all. He, my beloved son, to whom I promised so many things. My beloved son, who I neglected and because of my neglect, he suffers me and I him. I now weep for him, and he for me.

I tell you, truly this was not my kingdom from the start, but it was his. My son, although I thought myself wiser, was wiser than His Majesty. I governed my people with firm command, reason, and justice, but he had pity, compassion, and empathy for all in the kingdom. All this time, His Majesty thought he guarded his kingdom well, but failed to realize his kingdom was actually his own son! Oh woe is me! How often does one brush-off that which is closest to him!? How often is one blinded by what he takes for granted!?

So my loyal subjects, I beg you hear the plea of your King and save your Prince! For this I tell you my story, and request thy aid in the restoration of this kingdom of ours, for I address you all, that this kingdom lies in the Prince's heart. If that is not cured by your song, then all is for naught. But if, By God, you succeed you will help the Prince and His Majesty resume our harmony and govern the kingdom with peace once again. Until you accomplish this task, the kingdom must needs suffer and she must be patient, for I can not do the job myself nor can my son on his own, but that we work together. So, go my faithful people! Go and awaken the Prince's heart so that the heart of this kingdom will be restored and peace restored throughout our lands!

Veils

2009-08-17T03:39:00.005-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
February 16th, 2004

I fear everything is veiled from me....

I fear my hypocrisy is veiled from my eyes

my eyes are veiled by my heart

my heart is veiled by my arrogance

my arrogance is veiled by my sins

my sins are veiled by my desires

my desires are veiled by my understanding

my understanding is veiled by my ignorance

my ignorance is veiled by my knowledge

my knowledge is veiled by my awareness

my awareness is veiled by my perception

my perception is veiled by my self

my self is veiled by the world

the world is veiled by reality

and reality is veiled by my Lord

Lord of all things

Veiler of all veils.

Bully

2009-08-15T02:39:00.008-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
August 14th, 2009

An unusual kid with unusual kicks
sweater in the summer time
a shy 7yr-old misfit caught up in the mix
sitting quiet in the corner seat
til the devil approached to greet
said 'hey wanna see some things you don't normally see?'
that's when he whipped it out
in the classroom and started to pee
he took the shy kid by his hand
made some demands and if he didn't like it
he fought him in the sands
placed his hands in the boy's netherlands
and threatened to hurt him and his fam
if he didn't take it like a man
the shy boy didn't understand
'why do I follow his demands?'
he asked, still lunch money he had to flash
and be the subject of the bully's private flash
by forking up his cash and snacks
he was spared from getting felt up the ass
his situation became delicate like a glass
for help he couldn't ask
cuz he knew if he did, he'd be put to task
so for two years the boy put up with his trash
being tested and molested, wrestled and harrassed
with time the little boy began wearing a mask
everyday they would bash on the playground
everyday a new perversion found
a playful bully and a tortured victim
separated by the teacher's dictum
til one day it was clear to everyone's vision
the bully had psychotic dispositions
the teacher called him to account, he pout
socked the teacher in the eye
and straight knocked her out
got suspended and was never seen again
but he might as well have left the little boy dead.

Cuz sadly the lil boy learned how to pretend
to show he was alright inside
his whole life he learned how to hide
the outside was a lie cuz inside he cried
struggling through the years he tried
among his peers he was denied
smuggling the tears as he sighed
in pursuit to answer why in the back of his mind
he secretly wanted to die
learned at an early age about heaven and hell
in a place of crayons and school bells
as a teen he continued to decline and nobody could tell
and the further he fell
the deeper he retracted into his shell
searching for relief from his hell
wasn't prepared for his path
enwrapped in satan's wrath
over the years his heart turned black
and got depressed cuz he knew his future got jacked
feeling like God turned His back
on him cuz of the spiritual things he lacked
but one day he snapped
fell prostrate on a mat
and thanked God for everything he had
and now that he's a man
he understands its part of God's plan
the events of his life were meant to expand
his tolerance for feeling damned
even still, at times he rewinds back to the time
when the boy in his mind was subject to crimes
as the grime remains, stained to a time-frame in his mind
and if he could re-write the story he would do it for a dime
and this I can surely say,
since this story is actually mine.

1 Litre of Tears - Chapter 2 (Part-III)

2009-08-13T04:54:00.004-04:00

Chapter 2 (Part-III)
16 Years Old (1978-79)

Repentance

The only plant we harvest at Seiryou Junior High is Chinese citron.
When I went to go pick weeds where all these trees were, the guys made fun of my walking.
"What kind of walking is that? You look like a kindergartener."
"Haha you seem eager, your feet is bowlegged."
They laugh saying every possible thing to make me mad. Of course, I ignored them. If I put up with all this, the water in the ocean would be gone. But it was really hard not to cry. Luckily, I was able to keep the tears from falling...

Today something very frustrating happened.
During P.E., I changed and went out to the field.
The teacher said, "Today we'll be running to the park 1km away. Then we'll practice making basketball passes."
My heart thumped. Running,passing...I can't do either.
"Kitou what are you gonna do?"
I dropped my head low and the teacher continued,
"Well, you can have a study hall with O-san." (O-san forgot her P.E. clothes).
Hearing this, I immediately hear my classmate's voices.
"Aww study hall~ how lucky."
I was boiling with anger.
"If you want study hall so much, I'll trade places with you. Even if it's only a day, I wanna switch bodies. Then maybe you'll understand the feeling of a person who can't do anything they want to do."
Everytime I walk, in every step I take, I can feel my unsteady body, it makes me feel weak, I feel humiliated and miserable not being able to do what everyone else is capable of doing. Is that something you can't understand unless you experience it? Even if you can't feel what that person is feeling, I want you to at least try to think in my point of view.
But I think that's hard to do.
Even for me, I only first realized this after it happened to me.

-1 Litre of Tears (The Diary of Aya Kitou)

When I Pass

2009-08-08T03:04:00.002-04:00

by Ruhudeen Ali
October 17th, 2007

When I pass from this world
it will be like the flower that withers away.
Dry are its leaves and lifeless its stem
the sky's tears do not revive it.

When I pass from this world
it will be like the winter snowflake.
Its life was in falling and its death upon landing
beautiful and intricate, it melted away.

When I pass from this world
it will be like the autumn leaves.
Countless petals of all colors, all falling down
yet the cycle continues.

When I pass from this world
it will be like the melting of an ancient glacier.
Many eons did it take to reach its peak
only to fade away and become one with the sea.

When I pass from this world
it will be like the orange sunset on a cold spring sky.
Its warm smile deceives the earth's chilly climate
will it ever return to smile upon us again?

When I pass from this world
it will be like the flowing river.
Violently raging throughout its journey
only to find peace and calm when reaching the sea.

When I pass from this world
it will be like the erupting volcano.
Pent up feelings explode in a moment of vulnerability.
Its warm tears scorch the face that released them.

When I pass from this world
it will be like the ballad of the insects upon dusk.
Each different, yet all singing in unison
eulogizing throughout the night.

When I pass from this world,
in my final hour, it will surely be difficult.
Without you by my side,
there is only remorse in looking back.