al-Futuhat al-Madaniyya

Verily all praise is due to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, Lord of the worlds, for having taken His servant from these lands to the Noble Sanctuaries. And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah and Muhammad, salAllahu 'alayhi was-sallam, is His servant and final Messenger. I've been thinking for some time to write down my experiences traveling to the holy land and my time in the holy cities but never got around to doing it until now. Part of the reason initially was due to illness. May Allah grant me healing and protection (ameen.)

On to the matter, I chose the name "Medinan Openings" intentionally for the blessings associated with the title (for those of you who know what it is modeled after, [only at least in name to be clear***.]) The truth is though, that since my journey in the holy land actually did begin with Medina, it is from here I will recall my reflections of the trip. Astagfirullahul 'Adheem. My time spent in Medina was mostly of mild worship, as I was recovering from jet-lag and other sickness. However, the time that I spent there (4 days) I felt preoccupied with my own nafs - not my lowly desires - but rather the disgusting nature of the nafs in general. At times I felt like I didn't belong there because of the purity of those I saw around me. I felt shame and guilt, being in the Prophet's Mosque and having no dignity to show.

SubhanAllah, one of the realities of the holy cities is that there you will always find somebody better than you. My father and I prayed our first prayer at fajr time and my father was complaining about his back. Unbeknownst to us was a man standing in prayer next to us who could barely move or walk on his own yet completed his prayer like all the others. Next we saw a blind man exiting the mosque and I was suddenly made aware of the reality of that place; whatever your complaint may be, there is someone better who bears it more patiently than you. That was one of my first lessons there and subhanAllah, immediately as we arrived too. After we took some rest for several hours we went back for Dhuhr prayer, my father and I thanked God for having brought us there and prayed for my mother (may Allah forgive her and grant her peace in her grave) who could not join us as we had planned. We then took a casual stroll around the mosque from the inside which was so sheer in size that we were blown away. Unknowingly at the time, we walked passed the Rawdah al Jannah/Riyaz ul-Jannah and noticed the increased amount of people there. We suspected we were near the Prophet's (saw) original house but didn't know we were close to his burial grounds. As we walked passed, we saw a line of men paying their respects and suddenly I knew where I was and felt ashamed that I didn't come prepared to give my salam to the Prophet (saw). I made a casual salam and dua and we left. Afterwards I felt like one of those sahaba who didn't recognize the Prophet (saw) when they first met him, only to realize who he was later. After that event I felt ashamed of myself for not having known and felt a sense of sadness the rest of the time I was there. I realized earlier that everything happens for a reason and by way of invitation, and spiritual lessons are made more apparent in these cities for a reason. I knew that everything I did, was because of an invitation, and I was invited by the Lord to greet my Prophet and I didn't recognize him when I should have. Others there came fully prepared, dressed in their best clothes and scents, their best words and deeds, and there I stood with nothing but lame stupor. Indeed I was the lamest one there. The next time I went to say salam to the Prophet (saw) I wanted to go prepared so I waited until tahajjad time, his favorite time with His Lord, to greet him. We offered 2 rakaats inside the Rawdah al Jannah and made dua. I began to hear wailing, grown men crying like children, offering what they could for their beloved. We then left and my feelings of ineptitude were temporarily abated.  One thing I noted about my stay in Medina in contrast to my stay in Mecca, was that in Medina, I felt the degrees of separation between my own spiritual rank (maqam) and those of the several thousand lovers and devotees of Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw) around me, and quite pronounced at that. There was no way I could compare on any level to any of them. I was simply a blight on this most holy sanctuary. In Mecca, there was the opposite feeling; that all of us were equal in every way, again quite pronounced. This was an interesting difference.

Anyhow, back to Medina, it's not clear to me when I encountered my first beggar but it was a daily occurrence. One thing I noticed is that I didn't see the beggars approaching anybody else, it seemed like it was only me. Every day I'd go out and at least one beggar would approach me, I didn't like turning them down so I would usually give them some money. I lost count of how many beggars approached me during my stay but I only turned down a handful in total. In any case, the beggars put me in an awkward position - they forced me to have pity on them but subhanAllah, something told me that it was not correct to have pity on anybody here but my own self. Afterall, no matter what their condition was, these were people invited to live in the holy cities and who was I to have pity on them? Where was I coming from? Who was I to be giving pity than receiving it? One day, I was coming back from the masjid and I was approached by three beggars one after the other. One brother took a photograph of me with him and suddenly it dawned on me that these people must think I'm a rich Saudi or government official (by the way I was dressed.) I began to dress normally and still I was being approached, and that's when I took it as a spiritual sign. The haramain do not accept sadaqa (charity) from the people but the people themselves accept sadaqa so I realized this was one of the best ways to give charity, then I was put at ease and gave happily whenever I was approached. I knew that I should be the one to give because what I gave I was really getting back in the Hereafter.

When we left Medina for Mecca, I was amazed at how beautiful the mountainous landscapes were to the left and to the right; it really felt like we were in another world. I can't imagine people walking the entire distance (i.e-hijra) what took us four hours to drive, (and that's a straight line,) and dealing with the open desert heat/elements- just incredible! We got to meeqat and changed into ihram and made our way to the Grand Mosque in Mecca. One of the interesting things I noticed about being in ihram was that I was (or at least felt like I was) almost naked. For men, ihram is just two giant towels you wrap around yourself and that's literally it. Everything is covered but boy does the wind blow over there and God help you if you didn't wrap that waist-cloth up tight! Anyway, so it struck me that I was going on one of the holiest journeys of my life and yet I was technically the most under-dressed I've ever been compared to any other mosque (usually you over-dress for modesty in mosques.) I felt almost naked yet I was going to the holiest mosque, and I suppose that is the point since ihram is meant to represent the funeral shroud we will all be in on the Day of Resurrection. We will all look like poor destitute pilgrims, all standing equal before God, awaiting His mercy God-willing. When we got inside the Grand Mosque and were making our way toward the Ka'aba, I remember what I was told about the first glance and the power of supplication at that time. With my first sight of the Ka'aba I was dumb-struck, I didn't know what to do or say but after collecting myself, I just made a good general prayer- whatever words came to my lips- may Allah accept it, ameen. Another thing I noticed about the Ka'aba during tawaf was that it accomplished its exact purpose - it brought all kinds of people from all over the world together, shoulder-to-shoulder, men, women, and children, young and elderly, worshipping God together - it's not a feeling easily describable through words, you just have to be there. It really does feel like a sanctuary of peace and love and you feel this magic in the air around you, its amazing.

Altogether we stayed in Mecca for 5 nights. We did a second umrah on my deceased mother's behalf and nafal tawaf as well along with other ibadah. In Mecca I learned that logic doesn't always apply. If you think something happened because of certain logical cause-and-effect relationships, you will be proven wrong at times. For example, you can eat something questionable and be just fine or eat the safest thing in the world and develop a stomach virus from it. You can rest all day and still feel exhausted or take a short nap and be completely energized. In other words, reality isn't what it appears to be. This lesson becomes even more apparent in the holy cities. The reason is because the spiritual reality of that place is greater than its worldly reality (i.e- its more apparent.) So instead of cause-and-effect logic guiding my decisions, I used a faith-logic based on the spiritual truth: la hawla wa la quwwata illa billahul 'adheem ("there is no might nor power except by Allah the Supreme.") When I did that, I felt like logic was restored and things were working the way I had expected them to because I got to the root of the matter- what I came to trust in cause-and-effect is really God's power in keeping the rule but since He makes the laws of physics He can bend them too.

There were many other observations and reflections I had while over there but it would make this post even longer so, suffice it to say that you never know what to expect until you're there. The expectations I had were different from the reality I experienced there but nothing less of what I had hoped. We left the US a bit nervous, thinking we might get stuck in turbulent times with protests brewing in the Arab world but once there we experienced 10 days of peace, serenity, and tranquility like I had never experienced before. It was only when we were preparing to head back that I was reminded about all the chaos stirring around in the world. It's my hope that I get to go back one day, if I am invited back that is, inshaAllah. And all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.

***Footnote - al-Futuhat al-Makkiyya (The Meccan Openings) is a famous work in the Islamic tradition written by the 'Shaykh al-Akbar,' Ibn al-'Arabi. My entry here, obviously, is in no comparison to that great and monumental work, only the titles share similarity because of the kashf (unveilings/epiphanies) that occur in the holy cities.